I couldn’t decide earlier this morning. Pink or The Ramones. Damn, it was a difficult choice. Obviously, I went with Pink and glad I did. Look! Female bass player. Cool.
So-o – given a choice, would I play bass in someone else’s band? Be a session player? or….have my own band? Truth be told, I’d have to insist on having my own band. Unless, of course, one of my guitar idols begged me to play in their band LOL.
Yours truly, a clark, (in her vivid imagination) would put together a kick ass band. And be playing some kick ass bass guitar. In the shadowy, semi-background of course, just “left of center”. Do you know, I once had someone (conversationally, mind you) tell me to my face that I was “left of center”. Doctrine translation: you are such a clark!
But back to the question: ” Why my own band?” Aside from the obvious. Control. clarks are nothing if about control. And yet, and yet! we often see/acknowledge certain aspects of our lives seemingly, somewhat, out of control. So what the fuck is up with that shit? Excuse the profanity. I’m not usually a gutter mouth. I have more control than that. LOL.
Admittedly, this is not a new topic – clarks and our control issues. We figure if we’re in control then we don’t have to deal with doubt and everybody knows doubt is simply the manifestation of fear. The fear clarks live with everyday. Damn! Isn’t that one overloaded twice baked potato with a double heap o’ cheese statement about clarks. As they say over there, clarks may not want to be the center of attention but we will not be ignored. Or something like that.
Control, sister doubt/brother fear are conjoined topics both of interest and denial to my people. The
desire need to understand everything is a Robert Redford river that runs deep within us. Answers to questions like: “Why am I different from everyone else? Why do I have such an active imagination and creative impulse? Doesn’t anyone else see a stand of broccoli in that cloud formation? lol or my personal favorite “why can’t you do things the way everyone else does?”
Today is that famous of all days of the week, “hump day”. Coined no doubt by a roger. They have a knack for these things. In fact, I would bet a million dollars and fifty cents that they are single handedly responsible for all such delightful little ditties. The man off stage is motioning, get to the point…
Which is….. Today I’m all about myself, my life, what I’m going to do about it, blah, blah, blah…..and while I sit here trying to spot a creative thought amidst the grey rubble passing for brain matter, I figured I’d pass on a reminder to my fellow clarks.
Let go. Be mindful (no pun intended!). When your brain starts overheating from “analyzin’ and dramatizin’ ” (to quote the Lady) simply stop. Then ask yourself what it is you’re afraid of. (the immediate answer is going to be “nothing”. Trust me, there’s something).
Today. It’s all we really have. To Pink I say, lovely song. Hits me in the heart valve way down deep but I’ve recently deleted “trying” from my verb set. I think it best for my own damn self to deal in more active, deliberate terms. “Trying” often lays a cozy trap for those who take comfort in the dittie “at least you tried”.
P.S. Wasn’t this one damn clarklike post!! Hey! Stagehand! Sweep them scotts off the floor…..