Bless me Father, it’s been 4 weeks since GirlieOnTheEdge participated in a FTSF

Whe-ew-we!  Long title.  Can’t believe (sure I can, I spent 8 years in Catholic school) I’m finally doing another FTSF.  “No, Sister.  No one made me sit here and write this.  I decided on my own”.  On second thought, “they made me do it!”

Janine, Kate, Dawn and Stephanie.  They’re to blame!  Troublemakers all!  And I for one am thankful:)  Theirs is the first and only, as of this sitting, bloghop I have participated in and hopefully not the last.  Thanks to my estimable Hostesses:
“In church I learned to….” is the sentence that was made.

Darn, nothing comes to mind.  No, wait a minute….  In church it’s best not to faint. I learned drawing attention away from God is never in good taste.  The one and only time I fainted was…. you got it, in church.  No, I was not overtaken by the rapture.  I don’t really know what caused it.  Probably the heat.  Our church didn’t have the AC.

I don’t necessarily think of rogers when I think of religion but then, ya got to admit, when a single large, like-minded (religiously speaking)  group gathers on the same weekend day consistently for eons – makes you wonder. lol

OK.  Got my segue.  rogers.  clarks.  clarks trying to access/develop their rogerian aspects.  As a clarklike female with a secondary scottian aspect, I sit here disappointed in myself.  For the better part of a year I’ve been working rather diligently on developing my rogerian aspect.  My current (temporary) job in a retail establishment, (grocery store) has been my personal petri dish. I thought I had made great strides. Until yesterday. (no, I don’t know how to use fewer words!)

My other half is a roger.  Since involving myself in the conversation that is the Wakefield Doctrine so many years ago, I can honestly say that he has been of utmost value in helping me to understand that particular worldview.  Naturally, being a roger, he dismissed the Doctrine as a legitimate personality theory.  Having said that, he has increasingly exhibited more understanding of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers than he’ll ever admit.

In the spirit of brevity (a clark brief, yeah right!), I’d like to tell you a little story about yours truly missing the cue.  I might have walked through the world as a roger but didn’t.  I realized after the fact (close but no cigar) what it was that would have qualified me as one of them.  A moment, however brief, when I might have walked the world of emotional connectivity.

Yesterday my rogerian man, dog and I went to the library to drop off  a couple of videos and a book.  Since I had reserved items there, I went inside to make the exchange.  The woman at the counter was British and about my age (which is to say middle).  One of the items I returned was Ozzy’ Osbourne’s autobiography, “I Am Ozzy”.  The British woman, slight smile on her face, asked me something to the effect, “ah Ozzy, was it any good?” I responded in a brief yet friendly manner. (such a reserved clark I was yesterday!).  She made yet another comment, then went to retrieve my reserve items.  One of them being another Ozzy book.  His 2011 book, “Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy”.  The title alone brought a smile to my face.  I made another amusing comment, we exchanged pleasantries and I was out of there.

When I got in the van, I told my roger about the British woman commenting on Ozzy.  The first thing he said was:  “did you ask her if she liked Ozzy? or Black Sabbath?” There it was!  No, never occurred to me. The fact that she was British.  What a dunce I was!  Of course she knew Ozzy….  see, I was friendly enough but it wasn’t there. The natural, easy going asking questions thing.

rogers are naturals at asking questions.  In fact, they are all about the questions.  Why? Engagement.  To ask questions is about connecting with another human being on some sort of emotional level.  It’s about qualification,  about community.  Finding common ground.  Membership.  As a clark, an outsider, I didn’t have an instinctive, natural sense there was anything in that moment that might connect me with a stranger.  I didn’t feel a need to connect.  For clarks, asking questions of people is not a “natural” impulse.  I think this is enough for one day.  Don’t you?

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16 thoughts on “Bless me Father, it’s been 4 weeks since GirlieOnTheEdge participated in a FTSF

    1. I did not mean to imply that clarks don’t ask a lot of questions. We have a million of them whirling in our heads at any given moment!
      It’s more about the context of asking questions. rogers are more naturally adept at the “social”, conversational aspect of asking questions. They’ll ask questions of anyone, clark, scott or roger:) Most of them have this amazing knack for keeping a conversation going. I know you have talked with a roger or 2 and wondered to yourself, “man, are they ever going to stop?” talking that is. LOL
      I have to ask: when you say “challenging” do you mean insistent on getting answers? or demanding the other person dig deep for a worthy response?:)

    1. Don’t ask Janine! LOL
      I have to admit it was rather last minute on my part but I had a good time. I’ll be back to your “house” soon. I realized I linked up 2X!! by accident. Still not very good at hop protocol:)
      Looking forward to spending time this evening reading as many blog posts as possible.
      Thanks for stopping by today!

  1. Never mind your choice of reading material … I’m just impressed that someone still actually uses the library. That seems to be a rarity nowadays. My sister and I often talk about the one in the town we grew up in. Great place that was! Most others have paled in comparison over the years, so I don’t find myself using the library much anymore, but I do still prefer to hold a book than a tablet!

    1. Variety is the spice of life, eh? lol
      I have always loved “going to the library”. For me, there is something magical walking amidst so many books. Having so much knowledge literally at my fingertips!
      Isn’t it great to have a memory like that, the one you used to visit as a kid? That first library, the one of our childhoods, will be the means test by which all others are measured.
      Glad to count you among the ranks of those who prefer holding the real thing😀

  2. You are hereby forgiven for your FTSF absence! 😉 So glad you shared your refreshing take on this sentence, complete with Ozzy references! My husband is a big fan… and I’m starting to wonder if perhaps HE is a clark.. this post made me think…

    1. Me too. I’ve been in quite the writing slump lately:(
      I like Ozzy well enough but the real, true fan? My rogerian other half:)
      Interesting you think your husband a clark. Let me know your final assessment!!

  3. findingninee

    You know, I hadn’t thought about it this way before but I think I’ve been working on my Rogerian skills as well (shudder). I have learned – recently – to ask questions of others. I think that the loneliness that came with not having typical-kid-parents groups any longer after we realized my son was delayed finally forced me to start finding ways to bond with moms in my son’s class. Crap. I was hoping I would forever be able to say that there’s no Roger in me. Huh. Great post and I love Ozzy!

    1. rogers, how’d they get such a bad rap? LOL
      You know you have the capacity to experience the world as roger. You also know, as a clark with a strong 2ndary scottian aspect, that that “touchy feely” part of yourself needs a little coaxing. Alright, maybe a lot of coaxing:)
      It is because of your son that you are trying to access a part of yourself that is unfamiliar and uncomfortable. And it’s a mother’s love, the love you have for your son, that will take you to a place within yourself you may not have otherwise gone.*
      rogers are all about emotion and feeling. And everything is always about them. Subtle or not. They live within a fixed/defined world. Theirs:) When a roger is asking questions, they are, on an instinctive level, asking/looking for answers that tell them whether or not who they are talking to is, you know, one of them:)

      * When Tucker gets older, don’t be giving him grief ‘cuz you had to go rogerian every now and then:D

      1. findingninee

        You know what I just realized? I totally might have used to be 80% Roger. Now I’m kindof sad that I lost that. And I think I need to revisit the doctrine as I’m totally confused right now. What is the (previous) one who was willing to briefly give up herself for the comfort of snuggles and then later resent that person for being dumb enough to live me? I’m no longer that girl, but I was.

        1. Are you sure? the Doctrine says we have the capacity to experience the world as any of the 3 at one time or another. True. I remind my own self that the Doctrine is simple, but not necessarily easy.
          I’ll go out on my Downspring1 limb here and tell you that the description of the younger you in your comment is that of a clark. You will not find a roger do this thing. Out of the 3, clarks are the ones willing to sacrifice themselves (for someone else). Another aspect of the sacrifice feature of we like people? How we will “sacrifice” without taking credit or sacrificing in such a way as to disguise exactly what it is that we did. But I digress!
          Hopefully, the older we get, we grow. In that sense, none of us are the same as we once were. I’m thinking you have to join in on a Doctrine Hangout call! Talked this morning with Michelle (a roger). Very enlightening. And, you missed the Saturday Night call with the progenitor roger. Cool shit from the mouths of old babes. lol
          See ya round campus baby:)

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