Whe-ew-we! Long title. Can’t believe (sure I can, I spent 8 years in Catholic school) I’m finally doing another FTSF. “No, Sister. No one made me sit here and write this. I decided on my own”. On second thought, “they made me do it!”
Janine, Kate, Dawn and Stephanie. They’re to blame! Troublemakers all! And I for one am thankful:) Theirs is the first and only, as of this sitting, bloghop I have participated in and hopefully not the last. Thanks to my estimable Hostesses:
“In church I learned to….” is the sentence that was made.
Darn, nothing comes to mind. No, wait a minute…. In church it’s best not to faint. I learned drawing attention away from God is never in good taste. The one and only time I fainted was…. you got it, in church. No, I was not overtaken by the rapture. I don’t really know what caused it. Probably the heat. Our church didn’t have the AC.
I don’t necessarily think of rogers when I think of religion but then, ya got to admit, when a single large, like-minded (religiously speaking) group gathers on the same weekend day consistently for eons – makes you wonder. lol
OK. Got my segue. rogers. clarks. clarks trying to access/develop their rogerian aspects. As a clarklike female with a secondary scottian aspect, I sit here disappointed in myself. For the better part of a year I’ve been working rather diligently on developing my rogerian aspect. My current (temporary) job in a retail establishment, (grocery store) has been my personal petri dish. I thought I had made great strides. Until yesterday. (no, I don’t know how to use fewer words!)
My other half is a roger. Since involving myself in the conversation that is the Wakefield Doctrine so many years ago, I can honestly say that he has been of utmost value in helping me to understand that particular worldview. Naturally, being a roger, he dismissed the Doctrine as a legitimate personality theory. Having said that, he has increasingly exhibited more understanding of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers than he’ll ever admit.
In the spirit of brevity (a clark brief, yeah right!), I’d like to tell you a little story about yours truly missing the cue. I might have walked through the world as a roger but didn’t. I realized after the fact (close but no cigar) what it was that would have qualified me as one of them. A moment, however brief, when I might have walked the world of emotional connectivity.
Yesterday my rogerian man, dog and I went to the library to drop off a couple of videos and a book. Since I had reserved items there, I went inside to make the exchange. The woman at the counter was British and about my age (which is to say middle). One of the items I returned was Ozzy’ Osbourne’s autobiography, “I Am Ozzy”. The British woman, slight smile on her face, asked me something to the effect, “ah Ozzy, was it any good?” I responded in a brief yet friendly manner. (such a reserved clark I was yesterday!). She made yet another comment, then went to retrieve my reserve items. One of them being another Ozzy book. His 2011 book, “Trust Me, I’m Dr. Ozzy”. The title alone brought a smile to my face. I made another amusing comment, we exchanged pleasantries and I was out of there.
When I got in the van, I told my roger about the British woman commenting on Ozzy. The first thing he said was: “did you ask her if she liked Ozzy? or Black Sabbath?” There it was! No, never occurred to me. The fact that she was British. What a dunce I was! Of course she knew Ozzy…. see, I was friendly enough but it wasn’t there. The natural, easy going asking questions thing.
rogers are naturals at asking questions. In fact, they are all about the questions. Why? Engagement. To ask questions is about connecting with another human being on some sort of emotional level. It’s about qualification, about community. Finding common ground. Membership. As a clark, an outsider, I didn’t have an instinctive, natural sense there was anything in that moment that might connect me with a stranger. I didn’t feel a need to connect. For clarks, asking questions of people is not a “natural” impulse. I think this is enough for one day. Don’t you?