Alone but not alone, I’m an Outsider

This is weird. Being here. Typing. Here. Beginning this draft(y) page… I feel as if I’m opening a box closed a lifetime ago. Dusty and cobwebbed, it’s a pleasant box. Tastefully carved of wood, it is strong, it is sturdy. The “pen” and “paper” within are unchanged. I cannot say the same of me. Difficult to believe the last 4 posts were written by me. Seems it was more of a “hybrid” me.

That bit up there about a “lifetime ago”? That is my story. Life as I had known it for the previous 10.5 years or so ended on Tuesday October 22, 2013. That was the morning I packed my black 1997 Mercury Sable with as much as I could of those things I felt necessary to my comfort and headed north on Rt. 95. That was the morning I left the sleepy little beach town that is New Smyrna Beach, FL and headed back to the state I left, at this writing, nearly 11 years ago.  Everything changed that Tuesday. Forever.

I woke up  a little after 3:00 am having only fallen sleep around midnight. I’d pretty much packed most of what I was taking but there were still things to put together. You know, those last little odds and ends. The kind of  things you look for as an excuse to continue packing. To put off the inevitable.

I remember that I wanted to be on the road early. But, as my mother would say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”.  Man, did I hear that a lot growing up. LOL As it turned out, I didn’t leave, didn’t drive through the gate until a little after 7:00 am. It was no longer dark. I was glad for that.  There’s something sad and awful (sometimes) about leaving in the dark. On that morning I was able to see Man standing in the driveway from 6 10ths of a mile which is how long before I had to take a right. A right turn to a new life. Zoey was sleepy and clueless that I was not coming back that night. Little did I know then it would be the last time I would ever see her.

If you read any of the last 4 posts then you know of my late arrival to Northern Virginia that evening. Exhausted, it all seemed surreal. And all it took was 811 miles. To top that cake, the next day was my first day at the new job. To coin a rogerian expression by the progenitor roger, no sense in “baby coating” it. Afterall, I was here to work and get life back on track so let’s get to it. Who needs sleep?!

Thank you Zoe.  (she resides at Skip’s house here.) You challenged me this morning during today’s vid chat by asking me a “personal” question. (What? Oh, they don’t?) Hey! If you haven’t checked out any of the regular Wakefield Doctrine Vid Chats, either the Friday Night Party but Not (which tends to get crowded but no worries, being cyberspace an all there’s room ’nuff for everyone), or the more laid back International Sunday Morning Brunch Vid Chats, you should. It’s for your own good. Trust me.

Zoe’s interest in finding more about me led me to openly acknowledge that as a result of altering my timeline, I didn’t know if I could continue to write at GirlieOnTheEdge. It’s not as simple a logistical challenge as you might think. I literally am living a life completely different from the one only a few short months ago. Kinda messes things up a bit, ya know?

I still remember October 18, 2009 and what I felt launching the maiden post of GirlieOnTheEdge.  I think I’d really like to continue here but I’m thinkin’ I need to spend time at tube tops, tattoos and TimeLines. There is a challenge waiting for me there. Funny, the title came to me easily. I lifted it from a post I’d written back in 2011. A post I wrote in that other TimeLine. You can check it out here. (unfortunately, the vid from the Illustrated Man starring Rod Steiger, was removed) Perhaps you’d enjoy the “follow up” post here.

[Lizzi, the song is for you:)]

I cannot conclude whatever the hell this is today without mentioning  Michelle. She is a wonderful resource for elaborating on the oft times puzzling, sometimes frustrating ways of rogers. Her secondary clarklike aspect keeps her coming back for more. And I for one am better for it. Sunday Brunch wouldn’t be the same without you!

GirlieOnTheEdge is not gone. Hopefully, not forgotten. But she might be spending more time over at tube tops, tattoos and TimeLines in the coming weeks.

Wait. Clark! What about Clark? The author of the Wakefield Doctrine Blog, the creator of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, the host of various incarnations of hosted Wakefield Doctrine “events”.  If it were not for him, I would not know Zoe or Lizzi or Michelle or the other talented, funny and generous people I have been fortunate to meet  thus far.

If you stop by here or tube tops, tattoos and TimeLines, you may need a babel fish. I’m told all you have to do is stick it in your ear. I’m outta here……