Hey! How’s it Going?

I’m really bad at getting to know people. I mean know people. In the reciprocitous way. I’m a clark, so let’s face it. I can know people but not. Except! I’m armed with the Wakefield Doctrine! Cyndi and I both touched on that very thing over the weekend. By having a deeper understanding of the Wakefield Doctrine, we have a better understanding not only of our own damn selves but of other people. In a wa-ay more complete sense than they would ever believe was possible. Tell me that isn’t fucking cool. lol

In my former TimeLine (in Florida), the one directly preceding this one, I was given a very good tip by a rogerian artist I knew.  He’d come through my line (because I was the speediest cashier and so nice to boot lol) and each time, we talked a little more. You know rogers, most of them are pretty easy to talk to.

Bill. I liked Bill. A good person. A talented artist. He never once disappointed in upholding the principles of the Wakefield Doctrine. I remember giving him the elevator speech about the WD. He so had that smile. The rogerian smile that said “I like you, so I will indulge you in your “wacky” personality theory”.

I was one of the quickest, get ’em in, get ’em out, cashiers in that grocery store. So quick I’d be standing there, waiting for people to pay me as they put that last bag of chips on the belt. I had already processed and bagged their order. Yeah. That fast. When Bill came through my line it was difficult to stall. Unless there was no one behind him, we only had but a few minutes to chat. After a few months, after having given him the urls to Girlie and the Doctrine, I asked him: “Bill, what should I be saying to people when they ask me “how are you doing, or how’s it going?” He told me: ” tell them “pretty good”. Tell them you’re “pretty good”.  I took his advice.

It felt odd at first. But as he explained it, it was open ended for people. You weren’t expressing anything specific. It was neither positive nor negative. In many ways this was a significant piece of information about the rogerian worldview. To Bill, I say “thank you”.

I’ve had discussions with Clark about the Doctrine. About my learning more and more about myself through the observation of others as well as the observation of myself interacting with others. All of this using the Wakefield Doctrine as a guide. Using it as the helpful life tool that it is. For me, the Doctrine  reminds me of certain aspects of myself with which I still struggle. It challenges me to be a better person. It challenges me to enhance my existing reality.

As a clark, I am private. But not in a snobby way! I simply am very bad about “sharing”. I respect people’s privacy because it is a value I hold in high regard. An aspect of my worldview. In so doing however, I see how my manifestation of “respect for privacy” can be interpreted as disinterest. So very far from the truth. It used to make me laugh, when I found out that people actually thought I was a snob. Yes! clarks are constantly being mis-labeled as snobs. Ask any clark.

I find this virtual world a supreme challenge. Not simply from a “having the time” aspect but how you actually go about getting to know folks. Thank God I’ve met so many clarks. I don’t feel as alone in my stumblings about the web. As I continue to stumble, I’m quite grateful to have come in contact with/made the aquaintance of not only my fellow clarks but everybody else. Yes! That means all you scotts and rogers!

I should be saving this for next week’s TT0T but you know what? When you’re feeling thankful, there’s no time like the present. Thank you all who stop, stumble or otherwise find yourselves at GirilieOnTheEdge. It’s been a work in progress with some stops along the way. Hell, some major stops in the last year but I have confidence you’ll all still be out there, willing to take a moment out of your day to step on over to the Edge.

 

 

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Hey! How’s it Going?

  1. Awesome Post, Denise! Allow my secondary Roger to take us on a little journey and make this about me shall we? Being a primary Clark I used to come up against the snob thing constantly, When I took my first management position I had a kind of “get to know you meeting” (secondary roger) with the staff at the beginning of my second week. They all ganged up and told me they thought I was a snob and they should have hired someone else…
    We still laugh about it now (25 years or so later) cuz we stayed friends but I could have killed them then… I guess I was taken as stand-offish… warmth is not an accusation directed toward every clark out there… especially the young ones who just havent figured it out yet.

    1. Thank you Zoe. LOL. Please do! I love when you share stories.
      I bet it still surprises you when people think you’re: snobby, stuck-up, too good for them…. It does me:)
      Yes. Thanks for bringing that up – the being “stand-offish”. We’re not. Really. At least not in the way others perceive it. If they only knew how much we just wanted to be a part of “everyone” else!

      Excellent that you guys can laugh about it now. Retrospect is often quite helpful.
      So your staff was/is made up primarily of rogers?:)
      I say this because my own sister, a roger, once told me I came across oh, shall we say, in a condescending manner. What she was actually telling me then was how she felt around me sometimes. Thanks to the WD, I know the difference now!!

  2. I was going to write ” ROGERS!” after that story! Yes, all rogers!
    Both you and Clark have either found patience in addition to knowledge with the WD or you both talk a good story… because I do get it about knowing the difference (and maybe its my secondary roger talking) but the willingness to not get my nose out of joint despite that knowledge is rarely present at such moments…

    1. It has taken “patience” and “knowledge” Zoe. What motivates me is self preservation and self improvement. I found I simply didn’t want to, and more importantly, didn’t have to invest/expend any more energy than was necessary on another person for lack of understanding (their behavior) Wait! That sounds semi-awful (to my ears). But see? That’s the key. Filtered through my clarklike lense, in my reality, the reality of a clark, the thing I might find offensive or rude may not appear offensive or rude to a roger or a scott. In their respective realities, a thing is represented quite differently.

      rogers are the ultimate challenge for me. What things represent to rogers…damn, for me it’s like trying to study physics and statistics at the same time. I simply don’t get it! Since you have a secondary rogerian aspect Zoe you have an advantage. The emotional, non linear, non-rational worldview of rogers is an enormous challenge for clarks. And yet, they have the most to teach us.

      Yeah. Left on a cliff hanger. Whose gonna touch that one, eh? LOL

      P.S. When you allow your nose to get out of joint, you engage/participate in an emotional exchange. I would imagine you are then welcomed, on some level, by the other roger(s).

  3. (fashion for Ms Keaton provided by Stephen of the House of Androgny)
    hey! there are clips that are the full length of the song…. if there were no Wakefield Doctrine, we could recreate the worldview of the clark (‘the Outsider’) on the basis of this scene in this movie.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s