…the time is right….

I’ve always been conflicted about reincarnation. From earliest childhood I’ve had, let’s call it an “obsession” with France and all things French. Does it stem from the fact that both my first and middle names are “French”? Why, since earliest memory, do I cry when I hear the French national anthem? Why has it always moved me so? The scene in Casablanca? Niagra falls Frankie angel”.

I still want to speak French fluently, think in French. Sure. I knew enough when my brother and I got lost in Paris (in a not so good part of the city) to walk into a bar and ask the bartender “comment puis-je obtenir au…. rue?”  But so what? SFW. What have I been waiting for?! What am I waiting for? Why am I waiting is the important, “whispered” question.

Fear is all encompassing in the world of a clark. Fear and self loathing are at the core of all clarks. Yes, I will have to talk of this again. Can’t drop that bomb in casual conversation without further discussion. Right now? I’m admitting in front of the werld that I’ve been avoiding a trip to the “root cellar”. What’s down there that I don’t want to see, recognize, admit or deal with? What am I afraid of finding? The truth? (no. no link for that one!).

A not so casual glance at the clock tells me that if I don’t get off my butt right this very minute I will be late for work. I’ve never done a “Part Two” – wait! “Part Deux” blog post. Let’s see if I can pull it off. Let’s see if I actually come back, re-read this post and carry over the conversation to another day. Perhaps at a different time of the day. Will I still feel the same? Am I simply caught up in a moment?

Something tells me I had better return. Here. There. And I had better htfu.

Advertisements

14 comments

  1. zoebyrd · November 6, 2014

    WAIT! Don’t go! Does this mean you’re gonna take French? Go back to Paris? Or do a past life regression???? No matter what no need for all the Clarky worry everybody out here’s got yer back.

    Like

    • zoebyrd · November 6, 2014

      Uh frist!

      Like

      • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 6, 2014

        Yes! FRIST prize goes to you!!

        OK. Now I am gonna be late for work! à bientôt!

        Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 6, 2014

      Oh man. Back to Paris? On the arm of a gorgeous, younger French man? Mais oui, mon amie. Oui!
      Do they still do past life regression?!
      Thank you my friend. That is a comfort I’ve never known before:)
      I’m thankful for your friendship Zoe and for the community of clarks I have found myself surrounded by:)

      Like

  2. lrconsiderer · November 6, 2014

    Soooo….if ya wanna learn to parlay voos frongsays, I think you should just go for it. You’d make new friends and learn stuff and have a WHOLE new environment to observe, not to mention every masochistic clark’s favourite thing – The Ordeal, of actually DOING IT.

    Your regrets, if you do not, would be bitter indeed, because deep down I think you KNOW you can do it.

    A bientot x

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 6, 2014

      Merci beaucoups! For the encouragement:) Personally, I’ve had enough “ordeals” of late lol.
      I am going to try and not lose the thread for this ‘cuz you know what? I know I can do it:)

      Liked by 1 person

      • lrconsiderer · November 6, 2014

        You can do anything.

        And okay. Fair point on the number of ordeals. Raincheck on the Frongsays

        Like

        • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 6, 2014

          I would like to believe that…all of the time.

          Raincheck on the Frongsays:)

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Clark Scottroger · November 7, 2014

    ok….hold up there senoritinae!
    Ordeal(s) are to change as flowers are to romance!

    they are not the thing itself, they are not substitutes (for) but they are acts that offer way, way more (than may appear on the surface*) than we have the capacity to appreciate, particularly when the ‘end result’ is foggy or obscured.

    * I had something totally insightful, but I did not immediately write it (the asteriodal) and therefore lost it!**
    ** damn!

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 7, 2014

      Point well taken. Always, the clarification of “ordeal”. They (ordeals) need not be “big and huge” on face value, rather it is more about how a person has related themselves to the challenge represented by the ordeal, non?

      Like

  4. Clark Scottroger · November 7, 2014

    close…. it is to embrace the….non-controlable (no, not quite a contradiction/oxymoron) and by doing so have the …dis (agreeable/comfortable/accustomed) highlight the better-than-we-noticed parts of our reality…. it is to see the world with the haze of routine removed

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 7, 2014

      OK. I’m with you… Now relate it to clarks and “fear”. Clarify further s’ils vous plait?

      (I will have to return this evening for your comment)

      Like

  5. Clark Scottroger · November 9, 2014

    hey! here’s the version of ‘Rocket Man’ I mentioned

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · November 9, 2014

      Here, let’s share it with the werld lol

      Got to say, on this sunny day, this cover is dark. But remarkable in that Jason takes this song from the original version and totally infuses it with his own self. Cool.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s