Check Your Head…at the Edge

Decided I needed to have a conversation with my 25 year old self. OK fine. So someone reminded me I needed to do that. Doesn’t matter. What does matter? That I do it. WTF. Surefire tipoff I needed that conversation? Age was waving to me from the sidelines – woo-hoo! Gi-r-l…eee! Lookee here! Come on o-ver. Got something to show-ow you! (channel Vince Vaughn in Be Cool)

3 hours later, post conversation….

I love this song. 25 year old me doesn’t have to remind present day me that I still get off on the same music even if I am listening to it 30 years later. It’s all relative, right? I will even go so far as to say songs like this one make time travel real. As real as you and me buttercup. Real as you and me.

How did this particular song make it’s way to this post? Thanks for asking. I had Friday off (remember my office was moving to MD? Friday was moving day) and was returning from picking up obligatory food items at the grocery store. The ones necessary for sustaining this life form in progress and this was the first song out of the speakers as I turned the key. (fyi as a btw – clarks are in a constant, neverending “process of becoming”, “evolving”. clarks struggle their entire lives on a quest to become that which we think we need/want to be. except HELLO! we never will/can be. like everyone else.)

Where was I? Oh. The Conversation. Music. Time Travel. Yesterday, Saturday. It snowed pretty much all day. Started around 9, maybe 10 am. Went to at least 7. Stopped looking. Then we were gonna get the mix = ice, rain later, into the night. Where does 25 year old me come in?

She came in to remind me that as long as I’m breathing, I’m alive and therefore not dead. She reminded me of the one thing worse than being dead (in spite of knowing there have been times when that actually didn’t seem so bad) and that was being “old”.  Do not misunderstand me when I use this term. I don’t use it in strict chronological terms. There is a connotation some of you recognize.

I’ve known people old before their time. 30 somethings in fact. Kinda sad. Sad from my perspective. But let’s get back to my ramble….yesterday was a perfect day for books (Friday, I picked up 4 I’d had on order at the library. Yay! I even found 3 movies to check out. Dbl yay. To make this extra special, futuristically speaking, I hadn’t yet heard about the impending weather event.

Yesterday, as soon as I woke up I felt it. The soothing allure of beckoning escape. Within books and sleep and staying in my jammies (if I still wore jammies lol) Nothing wrong with that right?

Except there kinda was. So I got dressed and walked across the street from the apt. complex to where I park the car. I retrieved the scraper/brush, brushed the snow off the car and then reached in for my boots and umbrella. I carried them back to the apartment, switched out the sneakers for the rubber boots, grabbed my umbrella and went for a walk. In the snow. It was going to be warmer today. A high of 21. Why not be outside?!

The walk seemed a tad slower. The big rubber boots (bought in Fl after the 1st of the 4 hurricanes in ’04) were a little heavy. No nevermind. I had on 3 pairs of socks and those boots were going to take me where I wanted to go Miss Sinatra! I couldn’t stand to think that if this was my last day on the planet (yes, I know it wouldn’t matter ‘cuz I’d be dead already but indulge me, ok?) then at least I was out of doors, non-confined (non self-confined), the little bit of my face that was exposed, being chilled. Alright, very chilled as a result of the wind picking up but dammit! it felt good. Felt good.

Counter says lots o words so let’s get this done. Thankfuls: It’s not only music that can stop/suspend time. It’s also the weather. I can create a bubble of anything when there’s a perfectly good excuse for staying indoors.

TF: the #1000 Speak movement. I enjoyed bandying about reading different posts, discovering new blogs. It’s good to venture out of the neighborhood every now and again.

TF: a warm place to lay my head. Still.

TF: health insurance. Yes, Ivy! I’m thankful for it. I’ve needed it recently and in spite of being denied my appeal from a screening that by all accounts was covered 100% under my policy but was only partailly paid, I’m still grateful to be participating.

TF: that it’s going to be in the 40’s today before the plunge back to the ice age.

TF: for all of my senses, my body in the physical shape it’s in because I can still do all that I’ve always enjoyed. I simply have to do it. Action. Today. Right here, right now. (thanks be to Jesus Jones. hey, it’s Sunday, isn’t it?)

TF: for Lizzi for starting the Ten Things of Thankful BlogHop.

TF: the Wakefield Doctrine Blog. Without it I wouldn’t have come to know so many wonderful and inspiring people. Among them, other clarks whom I can identify with, support and commiserate with at any time.

TF: the ability to still believe.

TF: another day. The first. The last.

You? Get on up. Listen to music, do something to get you on your feet (figuratively or literally). Participate.

 

 

 

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16 thoughts on “Check Your Head…at the Edge

  1. I have always been a music collector.I don’t have a genre that I stick to. Beastie boys, Metallica, The Mamas and The Papas, The beatles, instrumental, It all goes. But mostly it is the words that draw me in the most.

    1. I’m the same way Erin. I love all types of music. Can be classical (but no opera thank you very much!), popular, “alternative”, pretty much everything.
      Yes, if it’s not the music itself, it’s definitely the lyrics:)

  2. valj2750

    I like music I can sing to. And dance to, in the privacy of my own kitchen, of course. Or from a chair. I’m really good at chair dancing. Your list is fun. Pray for Spring.

    1. Forgive me Val but….I can see you dancing to the Boys in your kitchen:)
      I am very well versed in kitchen dancing however, this chair dancing? The same as when you’re driving down the highway, that most excellent, get you going song comes on the radio and you really, really feel as if you have to dance except you’re driving a ton of metal and can’t stand up do to so *inhales deeply*. Like that? lol

  3. HAVING A HEAT WAVE! A TROPICAL HEAT WAVE! 40!!!!! woohoo!

    I don’t want to talk to my 25 year old self as she was pretty immature and wouldnt offer much, but I wouldn’t mind feeling like her for a while!

    1. Watch our for the sunburn! Same here. Mega melting. Hurray! You must be ecstatic Ivy! You’ll have to tell us how much snow has melted.
      Ya sure about that? lol (the talking part. who wouldn’t want to feel 25 again physically!!)

  4. dyannedillon

    Wow, Denise, time travel is the perfect way to describe hearing an old song!
    My 25 year old self was a lot like Ivy’s. So was my 30 year old self.

  5. Having a balmy day here…40! Get out the shorts and flip flops, baby! And back to the depths of cold tonight and the rest of the week…but today was something! Sadly, with Sickzilla housebound, we did not get out in the relative warmth.
    I am also thankful for the WD blog and the people there – most especially those Clarks, right? I loved your bit about how we are on that never-ending question to be what we think we need/want to be. That’s really true. That may show up in my updated About page (when I get around to that).
    Music…pretty much anything. It depends on the day, the mood, the occasion, the weather, the color underwear I pull out of the drawer. The only thing I don’t care for much is rap and even that I’ve been known to listen to for short periods when the occasion is appropriate or the spirit moves me.
    Chair dancing is like seat dancing in your car. Yes. It’s an important skill.

    1. And the countdown to Spring begins! It was pretty balmy in my neck of the woods also. Very nice. Sorry you guys weren’t able to get out and enjoy it.
      Here, here. the Doctrine has been indispensable to me these last few years and to discover so many of my people out on the net! Nice:)
      Know what you mean. It’s all about the mood. The one you’re in, the one you’re in after (the music). Rap is a tricky “genre”. If you can be open to it, hear the right stuff, you’ll be chair dancing even to that lol

  6. I just love you Denise! Youz good people! I’ve been called an old soul before…and actually, I take it as a complement. It’s one of those things that implies wisdom and someone who’s successfully weathered the challenges and triumphs of life. 🙂
    In any case, so glad we’re on this life journey together, sweet friend! Sending hugs-a-million!

    1. And I you Cyndi! Thanks for stopping by. So sorry I missed you yesterday! I can’t believe I didn’t check in but you know…I haven’t felt like “checking in”.
      I’ve no doubt you’ve been called an “old soul” as indeed you are:) I think pretty much all clarks can be considered such.
      See! I will never miss another day at my own blog! You were sending hugs when I most needed them!
      Call in next Saturday!!!

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