What do you do when circumstances force you to utter/scream/mutter or otherwise say to yourself…”life has become untenable!” What does that even mean?
I spoke those words not too long ago. Not pleasantly and not without expletives. Was it simply the culmination of a day’s worth of “little things”? Or were those “little things” a gift to precipitate a needed “forced dump”? Nice term. Those 2 words appeared in white capital letters against a lovely blue *gasp* background when I turned on my laptop.
Before the screen went black I stared in horror only to spot one other significant word – “crash”. How many times can you can you endure a “forced dump”, survive a “crash”?
3 days later…..
I guess multiple times. At least I can. You know what I say to “enduring”? FUCK THAT SHIT. clarks are famous for the “endurance” thing. Let me give you youngins’ a tip: endurance is a trap. Yuppers. A trap. I’m not talking about enduring traffic on the way to the beach or the discomfort getting your teeth worked on. I’m talking about the “bigger” stuff. The “life” stuff. (thank God for quotation marks!)
What is the point of it? Yeah, yeah, I know. There are times/situations/events that require us to “bite the bullet”, “bide our time” etc. But at what point do you recognize that endurance has simply become a coping tool. Even an escape. From the bullshit that is facing you.
Damn! I’ve got to remember that most folks have “normal” lives. Living life in an orderly, secure fashion. Fortunately, for me (or unfortunately) I know of no one personally waking up each day to a seemingly impossible challenge. But hey! here’s to us! Since this is not a “regular” post but a TTandT post, I’m giving my #1 thanks to that – no one I know is “challenged” today except for the more ordinary stuff. (but if you are, know you can come to this place, the Edge, for a virtual ear, shoulder, temporary respite….empathy.) Alright, let’s get on with this thing.
Deuces wild: the incredible sky last night over the City of Alexandria, VA. Holy shit, it was phenomenally scary and totally invigorating. I swear I looked at it and saw slow motion, barely perceptible, rotation. I looked around at the stupid amount of traffic and wondered…is anybody else seeing all this? Are they even looking?
Triad: as in clark, scott, roger? Sure, wtf. Don’t know what I would be like for not having known/knowing the Wakefield Doctrine. Go check out the Doctrine’s TToT.
Quartering in the fifth (no clue what that means) The sun is shining at this moment as I race to conclude this post so that I can stand in the searing sun to watch Nephew 10 play soccer in this, the elimination round of the playoffs. Part of me does not want him to win lol. Means going back this afternoon for more sticky weather.
A fifth of vodka. No. Thank you. (Vodka was my alcohol of choice in my younger, party days. I don’t seem to imbibe much now that I’m older.) Lessee….that I’m not a Zombie. (see the “Triad”, go read the comments)
Six can be Nine, here at the TToT. Why? SBOR/BOSR. That’s why! For moments in time as in last weekend, after having done the movie/sleepover thing with the nephews and family. Sunday, out in the backyard, 6 yr old asks “Aunt Denise? Want to help me catch fireflys? Me: Sure, as long as we don’t kill them!”
10 spot: the day that is now. Here. Where I will take a stand. Figure it out people. Figure it out. Today is the only day. Be well, be happy. Live. Now.