All Roads Lead to The Edge

Flashback to Spring, 1992. I’m driving a white, 1982 Volkswagon Rabbit. The back seats are loaded with boxes and bags containing pieces/remants of my life. Direction? North. 2 miles from the southern border of R.I. this song is playing. Seared forever into my body, my soul, my heart – these words, this voice, a feeling transcending the intellectual.

As if having walked forever an arid wasteland desert, my body tasted a thing intangible. Lips whetted by something intangible, my body drank of  an emotional, acknowledgement the thing that had no words. I was returning from a  journey, I was returning home. I knew the very moment my car crossed the state line I had made the right decision. Not to move. A little over a year later, the man who blessed my decision to try something new, build a new life somewhere else, was dead. Yes. I’d made the right decision. I did not waste the last year of my father’s life.

Flashback to yesterday, Friday, July 3, 2015. I’m driving a dark blue, 2001 Honda Accord. The back seats hold my laptop, some clothing, and an overnight bag. Direction? North. 2 miles from the southern border of R.I., this song is playing. Hit to the body. 23 years later.

Ten Things of Thankful BlogHop.

I woke up today.

After driving for almost 8.5 hours yesterday, one of the many venturing the highways for the long, holiday weekend I arrived safely at my destination.

Being  the passenger in a Mini-Cooper, convertable top down, known to travel at 140 mph (not really but a cute story), on my way to the beach.

Walking the beach with my sister-in-law at dusk, finding a lifeguard tower, climbing up and waiting for the moon to ascend from the ocean. Red ball took it’s time. Magnificent.

The greeting I received from my brother and his wife’s dog. I got out of the car and dashing down the stairs and rushing towards me was a beautiful ball of mostly black fur. The excitement of canine greetings after time away is, as they say, priceless.

That my bank accounts were not drained as a result of my check cards being compromised. Was I being rogerian Thursday night thinking  I was the only one this happened to? LOL No. My bank restricted a ton of cards as a result of “unusual activity”.

Part 2 of last entry – that my bank was open yesterday. Otherwise, I would not be sitting here. Here? The back porch of above referenced brother and wife’s house. Birds chirping, dog barking, plane in the distance, cloud cover, not hot, peaceful. I really can suspend time.

That I didn’t break my shoulder yesterday morning. But damn if it doesn’t hurt today. (reminder: do something about the “old person” thing)


That I’m a clark? I’ve put a question mark because at first, I thought, well, I can be thankful I’m a clark because I can “handle” the flood of thoughts and emotion that beset me last night driving by my old apartment and the beach I lived across from for so long. Then, it hit me. I was thankful for the abilities I possess as a clark to control my emotions, to deflect and sublimate (for the time being) the unpleasant, uncomfortable, and enjoy the pleasant, present and positive things of the moment.  

Stop today, for a moment. Look. Listen. Experience. Your self in the world.




29 thoughts on “All Roads Lead to The Edge

  1. I was at the checkout (luckily it was a self checkout so not a lot of people were inconvenienced) when my bank card was rejected despite having just deposited my paycheck. Turns out the bank system had been compromised and they stopped access to everyones bank card. ( I called from the store)… Thank God for charge cards cuz i didnt have cash!

    Hey does this mean you are at Clark’s ? I noticed your sister in law and the dog were mentioned as to efusive greetings… ahem…. lol!


    1. So nice of you Zoe to think of others 🙂 But doesn’t that suck! Surprise. Seems the bank tried to call me but didn’t have updated info!

      Yes m’aam! Una was a rolling ball of twirling fur. lol. She knows how to welcome guests 😀


        1. They squeak and tweet and screach…and when you open the cage door they flap their wings really fast or they fly to you….my parrot was quite cuddly. Would sit on shoulder and cuddle up to my neck.


  2. I’ve had my cards turned off by the bank for “unusual activity.” Great that they keep close tabs on it; NOT great that when it happens, you’re in line at the grocery store with a cart full of groceries and look like the person who can’t pay for their groceries.
    I love your last item about being thankful for being a clark…great.
    Sunset on the beach…yes.
    Have a great week, Denise!


    1. When I went into the bank yesterday morning the manager happened to be standing by the teller when I explained I had been told my cards had been compromised. He said there’d been some “unusual” activity in the area. A customer at that bank, which is my regular bank, was using the ATM and noticed the skimmer on the ATM and called the police. Good catch!
      Thanks, Lisa 🙂
      And you have a great weekend!!


  3. I do love doggy greetings. The two here always let me know by their reactions who is at the door. If it’s my parents they cry with excitement.

    Having the ability to deflect unpleasant emotions and enjoy the pleasure of a moment is an ability to be thankful for.


    1. They are without a doubt most excellent:) Never thought of it in those terms – that dogs exhibit their happiness differently depending on who they’re greeting. But it makes perfect sense!

      It’s not always easy to do, but yeah, it is a thankful.


  4. dyannedillon

    I’ve never heard either of those songs, but I have lived in a radio cesspool for many, many years, so it’s really not surprising.
    You people who keep talking about beaches make me VERY jealous.
    What did you do to your shoulder? Why do things HURT so much as you get older?


    1. “Radio cesspool” LOL Like that one.
      I know you’ve heard Hunger Strike. Another oldie but goodie. They’re both from Temple of the Dog. No, they never hit the “big time”. But I know you know who Chris Cornell is. Go look him up!
      You should be! But! Everytime you talk about going to the lake house….makes me jealous!
      The car was on an incline and the door slammed into the top of my shoulder as I was getting out. It’s a heavy door!
      I don’t know but doesn’t it make more sense that it wouldn’t hurt so much? LOL


  5. Sorry about your injury. I feel old too with “arthur” or arthritis always flaring. Is there a Clark rule about old “arthur.” I know I shouldn’t nickname my ailment, but that is how I deal with it. I am jealous too. We will not make it to the beach until August because of medical bills.


    1. Thanks:) You’d think I’d have sense to get out of the way of the door! Luckily I don’t have arthritis. So sorry that you do. I’ve heard it can be extremely painful especially in damp weather. No. No rules. But of the 3, clarks are more adept at dealing with “medical” issues. But what a wonderful thing to look forward to!


  6. Ah, so glad you got up to visit with your brother. Sounds like you had a nice time with them. His property sounds like a nice, relaxing place.
    It drives me bonkers when my card gets stolen. At least one a year our credit card gets taken. Thankfully, the bank is very good at keeping tabs on unusual activity. (Though how they know activity is unusual is beyond me. And creepy.) I’m still thankful. Our bank card has only had problems once. That was enough for me!
    Sorry to hear about the shoulder. Those ridiculous injuries are aggravating. Hope it feels better soon.


    1. It was a great visit Christine and I had a wonderful time. They live in a very peaceful area. It was very relaxing 🙂
      What a pleasure to drive on a 2 lane highway (one direction) lol
      One a year! I’ve only had a bank card compromised once and that was 7 or 8 years ago. Until now that is.
      They “monitor” card activity and if anything “unusual” pops up they restrict the cards. I’m grateful no one was able to withdraw on my accounts.
      It is aggravating but now it’s only painful to the touch. Thanks 🙂


  7. plaguedparents

    True Rhode Islanders always come back!!
    I learned something new today, I didn’t realize Chris Cornell was with those bands! I know him as the singer of the amazing song “Sunshowers”.


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