This is No Time to Get Edgeitis!

Hey! Speaking of severance packages – I was driving the commute last Thursday afternoon ’round about 4:40 p.m. Sky alight, the few cumulonimbus above showing impressionist dab spatters of grey, I got to thinking. (Of course I did! I’m a clark and I’m driving.) If I’m not singing and seat dancing I must be wandering the old cranial landscape.

I was thinking about something I did a long time ago. Something out of character for me. Something I regretted doing. Haven’t you done something out of sheer hurt and anger? “Lashing out” as defined in Wakefield Doctrine terms is relegated to the personal reality of rogers. I suppose what I did came close, but I can’t be sure. Besides, I’m a clark and rogerian lashing out simply doesn’t exist in my world.

Why this popped into my head today I don’t know. Well, maybe I do. Excuse me a second would you?… Hey! Christine! No, this isn’t….yes, I know I accepted the double dog dare…I told you I can do it…yes, yes it’s coming…really….

Where was I? Yeah, yeah…The thing about clarks? Unlike the propaganda, we are not devoid of emotion. We simply process/express it as the Outsiders that we are. It manifests differently for us. Don’t be fooled! We of the intellect/mind first, can cry buckets with the best of rogers under the right circumstances. I now know that the “awful” thing I did 20 something years ago represented something different to the roger on the receiving end than it did for me. Except 20 something years ago, I wasn’t conscious of that very important piece of information.

Driving a companion highway in my head, I was feeling as if I needed to apologize for sending the Box. Then I asked myself: why did I think it would it make me feel better if I could tell this person I was sorry? Given the circumstances and the relationship, surely, it was within the acceptable boundary of potential reactions.

Then I asked myself: do I really want to look under that bed? Am I prepared for what’s been shoved under there? A catch fucking 22 for clarks, especially those of us who are making a conscious effort to evolve. How do we face the awful parts of ourselves, the seemingly abberrant aspects, and believe there’s any hope whatsoever of enjoying a truly happy and fulfilling life?

[Honest Christine! Didn’t plan on this post coming out. I’m gonna trying hanging with Lila more. She’s one of your people. LOL]

What do you really think? Can I turn this into a TToT? Me too! Hit it baby –

TToT1. I’m grateful I was able to privately thank the man who was an integral part of my timeline jump of 2013 before he left the building Wednesday. For good.

TToT2. Another day. No, I never tire of reminding myself that each day I wake up is another opportunity. Anything can happen. And by that, I mean anything good!

TToT3. In conjunction with #2, I give thanks for the awareness that no matter how bad a situation, it can, and very often does, get worse. I suffer no illusion that “things can only get better”. Who invented that one?

TToT4.Β Faith. See #3.

TToT5. Get this. I swear this is true and I only wish I’d seen the entire directional shift. Wednesday, I left work at 3:30. I was happily surprised to drive at relativly normal speeds with barely a slowdow out of Maryland and into Virginia. Until that is, I hit Tysons Corner. Electronic highway signs indicated an accident several miles up the road, coincidentally, at the exit I get off at. Yay. As I slowed down, my eyes wandered up and off to the left. There, silently, gracefully was a small flying V of geese headed in my direction. Flying west almost directly overhead. Barely 3 tenths of a mile up the highway I catch something out of the corner of my eye, only this time from the right. There! I watch in total amazement a flying V of geese…headed east! Same group of geese? Did they cross the Beltway and realize they’d taken a wrong turn? Awesome.

TToT6.Β No rain in a week. Sunshine every day.

TToT7. Practicing doing the scary things, the uncomfortable things. The things that take me out of my comfort zone.

TToT8. Not being forgotten. Or would that be – still being included? πŸ™‚

TToT9. Having at least one person to remind me to HTFU.

TT0T. the Cat. (holy fucking shit. right after I typed “the Cat” I heard geese flying overhead the house. 8:49 am. enough said. this post is done.)

“So put me on a highway
And show me a sign
And take it to the limit one more time”

 

 

 

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27 thoughts on “This is No Time to Get Edgeitis!

  1. valj2750

    Is Tyson’s Corner on Rt 13? I think I drive through there on the way to North Carolina. So many beds and boxes I’d rather not look into, but think it is a necessary part of trying to evolve.

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  2. Kristi

    For me, faith helps me see that eventually things will be better, that everything will be made right/fair in the end. It helps me get through the rough times. Rough times can get worse, but faith gives me an eternal perspective. Hang in there.

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    1. Thank you Kristi. I have always and will continue to “hang in there”. I insist, because of faith.
      Without faith, what is there? I don’t know how I would function without it. Believing is everything. It is the conerstone.
      I’m glad you stopped by πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. I’m with you on number 7 because I did some of that myself yesterday. I am uncomfortable in unknown social situations. Who isn’t, I guess? That is why I just assume they are all the more worth doing.

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    1. “Unknown social situations”. Oh boy, that’s one I’ve always dreaded! Since I was a kid. Never, ever any good at it.
      But like anything, if we force ourselves to do those things that we are fearful of or uncomfortable doing, especially around those asking “what’s the big deal?” then we can only get better at it. At least that’s what I tell myself! lol
      Good for you! I hope by the end of yesterday you felt better and more confident about yourself πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. jny_jeanpretty

    The geese! The geese! The clouds! The clouds! What an awesome post. How much do I love The Eagles, as well. xox jean
    really good writing Denise. !!!

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  5. Kristi Campbell - findingninee

    The geese! I wonder if they were the same ones. Maybe they were Clark geese, second guessing their earlier decisions! And yes, to the faith. Love that. And the Eagles. Ugh to the comfort zone but good for you for pushing it!! I hope we’ll be riding to NJ together!!

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    1. They were the same ones. They had to be! What are the odds there could be 2 small groups of geese flying in opposite directions through Tysons over the Beltway at rush hour? LOL
      I’ll know better at the end of the week πŸ™‚
      What a great pair for a road trip!! 2 clarks!!! Who love Metallica! πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kristi Campbell - findingninee

        RIGHT??? Yesterday, picking Tucker up from camp, somebody was blasting One in the parking lot. I looked over and he turned it down when I looked. I guess I don’t look cool enough to love them any longer.

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  6. Oh so much in here I can relate to. Faith, most especially, is so important for me.
    I’m also fascinated by the part about not looking under beds versus trying to evolve – a constant struggle for the Clark, no? As for the rogerian lashing out, I think my secondary Roger does tend to do that. It’s a bizarre little struggle.
    Good to see you here. I’m sad I can’t get to that NJ meet up. Happy week!.

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  7. Yeah so um, when I drive – I have a 30-minute commute – I often wonder where the time goes. I really do get so inside of my head. Unless the voices of NPR completely take over. Hehe.
    But yeah, it’s funny – you’re right. Companion highway whilst driving.
    And cats. They have to be such a mascot for the clark, no?
    Of course, there are the doggies, too…who just give ya so much love. πŸ™‚
    And…yes. Happy Tuesday! Sending hugs!

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    1. clarks and their NPR lol. I used to listen to NPR on the way to and from work when I was your age πŸ˜€
      The coolest thing is driving along and suddenly “waking” to find you’ve traveled x number of miles and didn’t even notice! Yes, companion highways….
      I must disagree on the mascot thing. Over all, dogs are more in keeping with a clark’s preference than cats πŸ˜€ rogers lean more towards our feline friends, although rogers in general will embrace the smaller breed(s) of canines πŸ™‚
      Forgive my tardiness in response Cyndi. Hugs to you on this day before Friday!!

      Like

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