“…can’t find it anywhere…and there’s nothin’ to believe in…still you’re coming back, runninig back for more…”
So what’s up with that?! Increasingly, I find myself in the grips of the tonal (no capital T, will not assign that much value to it). The tonal? The routine of the day to day that is the inverse of all that is….hopeful. Promising. Exciting. Fulfilling. Imo, it is the antithesis to the life well lived. Explored. Expanded.
The Edge. The place from which possibility becomes reality. The place from which anything can emanate. It is the place I need to be more often than not. The cliff whence I would jump. With no fear.
I awakened from rather odd dreams in the wee pre-6:00 am hours. Reluctantly opening my eyes, I stretched enormously, like pulling to the point of breaking a life sized rubber band, muscles that seemed taught from the tension of spending time in an unconcious desperate to find answers. Not for naught, I sit now trying not to be aware of the passing time. The time I “should be/have/will (fill in the blank)”.
It is the weekend. It is the 2 day holiday of the 9-5. It is an opportunity. Today. Now. To engage the world as I would insist. Not as I would have it. Go ahead. Read that again. It’s a battle. Against inertia. Against patterns. Against self-indulgence. Against the sense of immortality. Right there! Do not getting me going on that one 🙂
Nothing matters except what I do today. Is that such a difficult concept to understand? Well, yeah, for some. for me? It’s all that I have. And if I do nothing. If I sit in a room all day and read or sleep or watch movies, do nothing, as is my inclination today, then what is the point? Of anything that has been my life so far? What is the point at all?
You know one of the best things about having a blog? It’s being able to express, however cryptically, badly, obtusely…my self. Sure, as a writer it’s incumbant to write such that my words resonate with everyone but you know what? Sometimes, I simply don’t have it in me. And honestly, sometimes I wonder that I have the ability. If you don’t use it you lose it. Never a truer group of words. I’ve been losing it lately (yeah pun intended lol). I’m here today to take it back. Get it back. If just for one day.
My offering to the Lizzi Rene Lewis 10 Things of Thankful blog hop.
- the Wakefield Doctrine
- Carlos Castenada (ya know, the first 4, 5 books)
- Slave to the Grind (motivational morning music back in ’91)
- Friday Night Vidchat
- WD Saturday Night Call in Show
- No mountains of snow
- Employment, transportation, shelter
- Everyone I’ve come to know via participating in the virtual world
- Those from #8 who I’ve been able to meet IRL
- Waking up one more day.
Enjoy the movement of the day….and sing loudly…if just for one day