Closure. On Sale Today. (and every day)

“Closure”. Mechanism? Tool? Affectation? What is it? A concept created to perpetuate the myth of self determination? Can closure exist without being borne of emotional content? Does it even exist at all? I’m on the fence. Of course if you Google any of this – “closure”, “self determination” and more specifically, “self determination theory”, you’ll find a plethora of scientific theories explaining it all in oh so dry language. But back to my question! Does closure really exist?

Angel Girlie says it does. She says you know it when you feel it. When the body feels it because the body knows first. Then, slowly, the mind figures it out and makes the intellectuall assessment, the determination of what went down. Closure. Then there’s Devil Girlie. Fuck no, closure doesn’t exist. It’s a construct created to support escapism. People can search for closure their whole lives and never find it. And that’s because you can’t find it. You feel it.

Can we choose closure, like when we choose not to be in a bad mood, or choose not to let a co-worker annoy us, or when we choose to ignore anything or anyone that affects us such that we indulge in that “bad mood”? These are questions I ask myself today. Along with, “do I need closure”? Is there an event or relationship that requires closure? Am I using the concept as an excuse? Holy damn smokes, I’d better not! But who’s to say unless we open up the vaults (‘cuz there’s not just one).

Don’t worry guys, I won’t be spillin’ the contents of my vaults today. Today is for posting a Ten Things of Thankful post. Josie Two Shoes provides the magic link that allows us to share in each other’s lives, in each other’s world, the ups, the downs, the opportunity to get it all out there. Providing the opportunity to benefit ourselves through sharing.

The great thing about the TToT is that, while it’s designed to share in the good things, the beautiful things, the wondrous things, it’s also a place to share the not so glamorous, sad or damn, that made me angry and upset this week things. Those are called “hypo-grats”. Oddly enough, even the hypo-grats have a way of circling round and exposing the thankful(s) beneath the surface. Come on. Let’s go scratch the surface…

TToT  the Wakefield Doctrine. Like Kristi’s #10 on her TToT posts, this is a constant. While the placement may be varied in the numbering of my post, it will always be a thankful. Without this life tool, let’s just say life would be a lot more complicated 🙂

TToT  Ya know, I’m glad to be see some heretofore mia familiar faces around the SSS and the TToT as of late 😀

TToT  Music. Music. Music. Music. Balm for whatever ails me. Motivation when it is lacking (big time of late) putting a smile across my face or giving me an excuse to cry.

TToT  Seeing the success, trials and yes, tribulations of my people (clarks).

TToT  Knowing, even without yet feeling, that everything I need “out there” to accomplish my goals is available and accessible.

TToT  Precision basses 🙂 Guess I never got closure from not buying a P bass that came through the music shop I was managing back in my younger years. It came in on consignment. I hadn’t yet bought a bass. This one, circa early 70’s, all peeled up Sunburst, looking lived in, was calling my name. I didn’t really know how to play bass then, little ditties and such, but when I picked her up, held her, worked my fingers over the neck, it was magic. This bass just played itself, the action was amazing. It felt right in my hands. But I did not act. And so a 15 year old girl, just starting her first band, bought it. (she came in with her dad) At least I was happy with the buyer, although it was tough letting her go…the bass that is!

TToT  Speaking of Precision basses – Chuck Berghofer took his ’59 Precision and improvised on the spot one day and gave us this – check it out.

TToT  That it hasn’t begun raining yet (again). The forecast was for rain all weekend. I was disappointed first seeing that forecast but now that the weekend is here, I’m not minding. In fact, let it rain, rain down on me.

TToT  I’m thankful a friend turned me on to the “new” Foreigner. For old men, they sound pretty darned good. Not all relics can pull off the rock thing decades later 😀

 TToT  Thankful to write this today. Thankful to go out into the rain today. Thankful for this, my only day.

 

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21 comments

  1. Lizzi · 12 Days Ago

    Days when we appreciate the rain are always slightly dangerous to the soul, or to the rest of the world (as we know it). They’re the days when we’re several steps closer to getting a new set of everyone.

    Thank goodness for music.

    You are still queen of subtext. I would say grappling with the concept of closure is a forward step, on the whole. It’s much easier to determine in hindsight.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 11 Days Ago

      Ah, yes, I think you are correct! New set, eh?
      What would life, the world be without it! It would be hell on earth.
      Thank you my friend 🙂 Agreed, it is easier in hindsight but… is forward momentum a sure thing?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lizzi · 11 Days Ago

        As long as we’re breathing, it’s inevitable. Emotionally we can get stuck sonetsome, but time still passes and with every minute we live, we’re a minute further from XYZ thing that happened.
        (Key to life – solve for X…)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Pat B · 11 Days Ago

    Closure is such an individual thing for each person, and each circumstance.
    That precision bass sound kind of grows on a person. I like it.
    Music is very helpful in dealing with sorrow. The kind of music that is helpful to one person in such circumstances, is not necessary what works for another person.
    Walking in lightly misting rain on a day that isn’t cold is something that feels very refreshing to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 9 Days Ago

      In a nutshell it is, you’re absolutely right.
      Yay! The tonal qualities that can be produced…very wonderful.
      It is helpful for all things. That is so very true. One person’s jazz is another person’s motown 🙂
      Ah, sometimes walking in the elements whether rain, snow or wind can be very refreshing. Enjoy 😀

      Like

  3. Clark Scottroger · 11 Days Ago

    enjoyable post.
    (Hey! Lih….Zeee! sup!! (“yup and then there was the time when everyone kept interrupting everyone else’s comments. it was so unruly and such fun”)
    Closure. You know what we say at the Doctrine. “It all starts with the challenge to discover, ‘how do we relate ourselves to the world around us”
    Understand that and the seemingly necessary but obtuse-in-use concepts become less so. (one of my favorite zen sayings: “Before one studies Zen, mountains are mountains and waters are waters; after the first glimpse into the truth of Zen, mountains are no longer mountains and waters are no longer waters; after enlightenment, mountains are once again mountains and waters once again waters.)
    ya know?

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 11 Days Ago

      Appreciate the reminder. Daresay, perhaps I should take up Zen practice.(after the Wakefield Doctrine of course!) Remembering college, first year and my Eastern Religions class. Fascinating.

      Hey! Is the band gettin’ back together!? lol

      Like

  4. valj2750 · 11 Days Ago

    Closure. Those vaults that no matter how hard you shut them, lock them, secure them, the emotions have a way of oozing out under the door. I’ve been sick this week and some of my musings have been emotions and the memories that provoke them, oozing out from the hidden places in the brain. As long as they don’t ease out the mouth or the fingers unto the page, I’m safe. Have a good week, Denise.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 11 Days Ago

      Oh man, Val, so sorry you are under the weather. And that your musings are such that they are unhinging some of those locks on the vaults.
      Hm…not suggesting the public page but perhaps you might let some of your emotions ooze onto a page of private writings? I’ve no doubt you have a journal somewhere, young lady 🙂
      You beg the question though – when is it the “right” time to let out those hidden place inhabitants? How do we know when we need catharsis?
      Hope you feel better in all manner of speaking, Val.
      Thank you. You have a better week this week.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. May · 10 Days Ago

    Closure. hmmm….I am not so sure it is ever complete. I am not so much a one-step-forward-two-steps-back girl as I am a two-steps-forward-one-step-back girl. But completed closure, that stays closed at all times? Nah, I am not convinced that is a thing.
    Music as a balm is precisely the focus of my thankfuls this week as well.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 9 Days Ago

      Hm…you give me food for thought, May. I think of myself as an optimist, glass half full person, I think we’re in step there:)
      But you’ve got me wondering about “completed closure”. Are you saying that closure is not a finite experience?
      Cognitively, I recognize that acceptance and closure are relatives but not the same thing, not interchangable. It would be reasonable to think acceptance would lead to closure but that’s not necessarily true. At least that’s what my brain tells me. And always, I circle round to my own premise that we can’t manufacture or decide when closure has been achieved, it occurs on a purely organic level.
      I seem to have run myself in circles tonight!
      Music at your house? Alright! Be right over 😀

      Like

  6. Kristi · 10 Days Ago

    I think faith is a huge part of closure–faith that things will be right in the end, even if I personally can’t do anything about a particular situation myself. Some might call it escapism, but I think it’s more accurately called patience. Closure isn’t necessarily easy, but it is a relief when it is achieved.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 9 Days Ago

      I don’t disagree with you about faith, Kristi. I remind myself often faith’s purpose, what can be accomplished through faith and as you suggest, it’s a necessary component to achieving closure. And yet, I have difficulty accepting the notion that closure truly exists. May’s comment kind of made my head spin with the idea of “completed closure, that stays closed at all times”. I’d never considered closure in those terms before.
      Surely, the harder one searches for a thing, the more elusive it becomes. And I think we’ve come full circle.
      Thank you.

      Like

  7. messymimi's meanderings · 9 Days Ago

    Thankful for your list. Not sure if closure exists, but recovery does, i promise.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 9 Days Ago

      You’re welcome. Glad you enjoyed it. On the fence my self about closure. I’ve been witness to recovery. I know it does 🙂
      Thanks, Mimi.

      Like

  8. 15andmeowing · 9 Days Ago

    Closure is possible. Nice thankful list. Have a nice week!

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 8 Days Ago

      Duly noted! Thank you! You have a nice week too! Almost halfway through… 🙂

      Like

  9. Sageleaf · 6 Days Ago

    You got a P Bass? You managed a music shop? And music is your motivation? Girlie, I’d say that you have this whole other world that we’re only just starting to hear about…
    You make music, too?
    And I, for one, am glad to see you writing more over here! I can’t always comment, but all these posts are so good to see! ❤

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 4 Days Ago

      No! I almost got a p bass but you snooze, you lose as they say. No p bass, I love the bass I have (for sentimental reasons). I prefer to play or rather preferred to play, a Gibson Thunderbird, circa way back.(if you go to my FB page and click on Photos, then, click on the other Photos tab- on my screen it says “your photos”, you can see me and the Thunderbird) Music life was in the “before” time 🙂
      I’m glad you stopped by as it’s always good to hear from you 🙂
      I have finally gotten my laptop to turn on just moments ago by holding down the d and power key. Amazing that I was so in the writing mood this morning and then the darned thing froze!

      Like

  10. dyannedillon · 3 Days Ago

    I don’t think it is possible to have complete closure as long as you have a memory. Because even thinking “I’m so over that” means that you still give it some thought and therefore, you do not have closure. This from an eternal optimist, but I’m also eternally practical in many ways.

    So few 70s (and even later) bands or artists can still do what they did, and it’s rather painful to hear them try, so it’s refreshing when one can still pull it off. James Taylor, for example, still has it. I loved Foreigner in high school. I had a music life “before”, too, but it was business and not performance. Sistahs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · 3 Days Ago

      OK. Simply put and totally resonates with me. I mean, it makes sense.
      My wonderings lately – maybe closure can be had if shared with another, the person sharing the thing needing closure even, if it’s only one of us needing the closure? Can the other person be the conduit for closure? I so confuse myself sometimes 🙂

      It is painful. The band that first comes to mind is the Rolling Stones. James’s voice will be angelic til the day he dies 🙂 Foreigner was one of those bands I only listened to on the radio, never bought an album but listening to the “new” version of the band, I’m remembering some favorites…Dirty White Boy!

      I remember you did 😀 Sistahs!

      Like

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