“Cause we’ve ended as lovers”. It’s a 6.

…. well, I dare you.

Straight shoulder length chestnut brown hair, tousled and windblown about his head and shoulders by a light ocean breeze, made it difficult to get a clear view of Evan’s face and though dusk was fast approaching, she didn’t need a clear view to know he was dead serious in spite of the playful tone in his voice.

Celine laughed; toes gripping the sand, she turned, spinning ’round like Lita Ford’s little sister and smiling the smile of 10 million suns replied, oh you do, do you?

Like a dangling participle, the end of their relationship was imminent, each knowing the tense would soon change however, this day, they indulged in the spontaneity of a moment, embracing and escaping into the comfort they’d felt with each other from the first time they met.

I’ll have you know, Celine’s voice authoritative, seductive, I’ve sunbathed for years without one, so your little dare.. not so much.

Grinning widely, she reached for the hem of her camisole, lifting it up and over her head as they walked the beach side by side, their sun slipping slowly ‘neath the horizon.

30 thoughts on ““Cause we’ve ended as lovers”. It’s a 6.

  1. Rene Sparrow January 28, 2021 / 7:05 pm

    A well painted scene, and “smile of 10 million suns” is staggeringly good.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. dyannedillon January 28, 2021 / 9:34 pm

    I can’t beat what Mimi said, soooo, great six 🙂 I love your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge January 28, 2021 / 10:12 pm

      I know that song, Pat! Brings back memories. But what I didn’t know was that he recorded it two different times, the first time in 1962. I’m remembering the 70’s version 😀


  3. UP January 28, 2021 / 10:51 pm

    super! love the smilesun line.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge January 28, 2021 / 11:40 pm

      Thanks, Paul! I couldn’t help smiling when I wrote it 🙂


  4. Chris Hall January 29, 2021 / 1:44 am

    Beautifully written, Denise, your six dances like a movie scene before my eyes…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lisa Tomey January 29, 2021 / 10:50 pm

    That music. That scene. This story. You knocked it outta the park.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. clark January 30, 2021 / 8:32 am

    (a complete narrative-in-a-single-scene letting the reader provide whatever backstory or biography (of characters) that enhances the reader’s enjoyment just as it should be)

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge January 30, 2021 / 8:59 am

      Thank you, Clark.
      I was hoping it came across as single scene/complete. Always, the challenge of more or less, right? lol “Descriptors” are important yet how to effectively employ them in a conservative word count. The eternal question!


  7. The Vintage Toy Advertiser January 31, 2021 / 4:07 am

    A sensual story there, D. Could feel the breeze, the sands, the sun… Love too the rock ‘n roll flavour injected. Long live \m/ 😎
    Erm, needless to say I had a bit of a crush on Lita back in the day (who didn’t!), as well as being awestruck by her accomplished guitar playing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GirlieOnTheEdge January 31, 2021 / 9:15 am

      I’m happy it came across. The challenge of writing, right? How to capture and convey in words a scene, no matter how firmly it may be etched in memory. That’s what makes writing so challenging, exasperating and… fun. Long live, V. Long live 😎
      No-o-o-! LOL Of course you did, V 😆 What male between the ages of (well, age didn’t matter did it?!) didn’t have a crush on Ms. Ford! Yes, she was a pioneer.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The Vintage Toy Advertiser January 31, 2021 / 1:44 pm

        “challenging, exasperating and… fun.” good summary there of how writing often makes us feel! 🙂
        A few years ago I went back and checked out Lita Ford’s guitar on The Runaways, oh wow, so young then, and she could already shred like no one’s business!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. TheHiddenEdge January 31, 2021 / 6:40 am

    Such a lovely moment you have allowed us to share for, all the superb comments above, Denise.

    Liked by 1 person

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