It may not be a “Tommy” gun but my M3 was just as convincing, 450 rounds a minute of cranking persuasion, she hadn’t failed me yet – tonight it wasn’t the gun that failed…
Friday nights I went down to the docks to collect “rent” for Big Jimmy Muldoon; afterwards, like every Friday night, I headed to the Starfish Lounge to clear my head of the smell of diesel fuel and seaweed stink.. and that’s when I met her.
Word on the street she was a West coast moll come to Jersey to score for Sid “Bag & Tag” Solemi; rolling into town like a tumbleweed in heat, she lost no time makin’ the rounds of clubs and casinos on the strip but tonight, she was at the Starfish.
I’d hit the Starfish around midnight and squeezing my way through the smoky crowd spotted an empty stool at the far end of the bar; didn’t take long to notice the herd of mooks at the other end, drooling over a woman sitting like a movie star among adoring fans.
She turned at that moment, a tall cool drink on a smokin’ July afternoon, wavy burnt chestnut hair sweeping past her shoulders like a hot summer breeze, our eyes made contact; sucked up into the shimmering blue of her eyes, it was a connection I would later regret.
Instinctively, I reached into the inside pocket of my jacket feeling for the bulky envelope of cash confident it was secure when I felt a hand lightly caress my knee – never noticed her walk over…
A descriptive and metaphor packed six. Love the word mooks!! Great job
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Paul. Me too!
It was a fun write 😀
LikeLike
nicely noirish
(Surely one of the most fun of genre)
liked the …”450 rounds a minute of cranking persuasion,”
and the atmosphere (which surely is what we come to these stories to experience
looking forward to more
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Clark. I daresay it is fun!
A last minute edit in – I’m rather fond of it too 😀
Glad you enjoyed the story.
LikeLike
Gripping, is there a part II?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, C! Not sure.
LikeLike
There must be more to the story, and i can imagine it doesn’t end well for him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is, Mimi. Your instincts are on the money. It does not turn out well for him.
LikeLike
Well done! (Clark is wrong, this is not the most fun of genre; well, it’s not a favorite genre of mine, but this was Fun!) You left me hanging and wanting more.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, D! Ha! then mission accomplished 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very, delightfully noir!
What’s a fat envelope of cash when there’s a smokin’ hot, tallcool ginger to help you lose it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Liz!
Exactly 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this, Denise! Drawn in right from the start and it just gets better. More please! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Chris 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it. Not sure there will be future Sixes with either of these characters. But… I suppose that’ll be up to them, lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
She knew who the next target would be. I like the ominous hint in “it was a connection I would later regret” and wonder what it is he’ll regret.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely. She’s been playing this game awhile. That’s the fun in writing these isn’t it?! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well done six. You pulled me in and kept it interesting. I am not surprised.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lisa. Glad you got pulled in 🙂
LikeLike
It’s like a scene from a movie. I also like the rhythm of the story. — I googled the words, “moll” and “mook”, and my vocabulary has been enriched. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t deny the influence of a few old gangster from my youth, lol.
Thank you, Romi. I love learning new words so I’m happy your vocabulary got a little bigger from reading my Six 🙂
LikeLike
Humphrey Bogart lives!
I just love this, Denise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes!
So glad you enjoyed CE 🙂
LikeLike
Hiya D. Thanks for linking me back to this – the prelude to all the craziness that happened in part II ! 🤩
“450 rounds a minute of cranking persuasion” is a power packed line, and I love: “wavy burnt chestnut hair sweeping past her shoulders” for its alluring and sexy intention.
Also liked her hand on his knee yet in proximity to the money in his pocket – can just imagine those fingers making their way later to a sweet little cash injection!
LikeLiked by 1 person