We pick up this week in the serial “Zombies and puppies” as Jaya and Seven rescue Ryan from an abandoned warehouse where he was being held, taken hostage a few days prior by a group of rabids. Led by what our heroine has dubbed “Gladiator”, it is apparent once roaming bands of flesh-eaters are now becoming organized.
*******
I jumped out of the Humvee while Seven, leaping out behind me with as much velocity as 4 paws can grant a 90lb dog, hit the ground running (reconnaissance duty waits for no dog); I walked around the vehicle to open the passenger side door; Ryan, seatbelt still hooked, turned, eyes eerily vacant – “Ryan, look at me!” I slapped him hard across his face. Reeling from the impact, his head bounced against the Humvee’s door frame, “Jesus, Jaya, what the hell!”
“You looked like you were in shock so, ya know, the slap thing is a good attention getter“; the moment hung suspended like a piñata as I watched 6′ of lithe muscle, a mop of brownish hair barely covering his grimace of pain, slowly exit the vehicle and realized how much I’ve taken for granted. Standing on the hardened sand parking lot, seemingly uninjured, Ryan began looking more like the man I knew, eyes sharpening, assessing; an echo of emotion, reverberating in a canyon from another lifetime, whispered and my mind drifted to part of a Longfellow quote – “That which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain”.
I quickly dismissed any emotion not pertinent to our situation, “I have a million questions Ryan, so let’s – wait – are you hurt? what the hell happened? who was the gladiator guy? the alpha rabid?…”
Barely 2 miles up the road from a burning warehouse, in the middle of the parking lot of the Tractor Supply Co. on N Central Expressway in McKinney, Texas, soft breeze blowing, Ryan and I stood inches from each other, eyes locked, words for the moment, irrelevant.
As usual, you leave me wanting more.
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Thank you, Mimi.
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It looks like Ryan survived although he seemed drugged in some way. I wonder what he has to say about that alpha rabid and what else he found out..
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He did, Frank. I’m not sure yet exactly what happened but I’ve a definite feeling he’s going to have difficulty explaining it to Jaya.
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Good action (both in pacing and not-quite-defined forward momentum*)
Hopefully Ryan gathers himself and doesn’t thrive on suffering.
*the best kind.
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Thank you, Clark. They are moving forward…into obvious uncharted territories.
I know, right?
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I like this gripping scene.
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, Romi.
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Gripping! The door’s wide open for so much more… (can’t wait!!).
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Thank you, Chris!! (the question now: can I walk through that door? lol)
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Good job. This serial sixing is not as easy as it seems
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Thank you, Paul. No, it sure isn’t! lol
(but we love it now, don’t we 😉)
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To Paul and D – I can’t believe how much concentration it requires, for me it’s new territory and a bit like writing a novella crossed with a TV series I suppose.
Hard work – but so enjoyable (yes, we love it, D 😊)
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Ryan seems traumatised which I guess is to be expected. Nice one.
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As strong a man as he is, yeah, a little bit. Thank you, Keith.
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Moving house has kept me occupied for a few weeks, so I’m looking forward to going back – now that doesn’t sound quite right! – to catch up on what I’ve missed. And waiting impatiently to hear what happens next in this tense tale. The language of your descriptions is so vivid. Exciting.
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No doubt, Jenne. Moving is one of those should be exciting but the mechanics of it are so… not, lol.
I bet you’re more than ready to reestablish a more routine, routine 🙂
Thank you!
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There’s more than one kind of tension here. It’s palpable, the danger they are in.
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That is for certain. Glad it was felt and you bet they are!
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Your three main characters seem like they can draw strength from one another and take charge when the moment dictates – excellent dynamics, D.
That moment at the end between Jaya and Ryan dances on a multitude of emotions and possibilities. Cool quote too, and clever to use it for the prompt. Now we have to wait a while longer to find out more about the alpha rabid and what exactly happened back there to Ryan 😎
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PS – have you seen Black Summer? I watched both seasons recently and thought it was an excellent take on the zombie genre – dark and realistic, real stripped down to the bare bones stuff!
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I have not. Never even heard of it so thanks for the heads up. I will definitely check it out!
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P.S. Was just at YouTube and saw trailer for Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City. Not a fan of most film attempts at prequels/origin stories (even though I’m trying my hand at an origin story, lol) but….looks pretty good, V. Check it out 😱☠
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Will take a gander! Thanks.
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Ha, couldn’t help think of Seven when I saw that dog appear (please don’t get rabid, Seven!!). The trailer works so well with the 4 Non Blondes tune eh?
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Good 🙂
Never! I didn’t realize until after I named him and I looked up the various meanings of the number 7, that it was a perfect name for him.
Agreed.
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Thank you, V. Have been uncertain character dynamics have shone through. I often forget when writing, to write for the readers and not myself.
Yes, I agree that moment was an extreme circumstance nudging open a door. Appreciate the nod to being clever but the prompt word was in place before the quote. Mr. Longfellow’s words found their own way to the story 🙂
That’s right! What did happen to Ryan?! 😎
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I think we have to write for both the reader and ourselves to get the best results, and the two elements might balance one another.
The dynamics of woman/man/dog work, plus you had your original cast in the beginning before Seven, then the recent Priest backstory.
Yes… tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us what happened to Ryan!!! We want to know!! 😎
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Wow! This had me leaning forward not wanting to miss any details, but still feeling an urgency to find out what was going to happen next as fast as possible. From the first sentence to the last. . .gripping!
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Thank you, Pat! So glad you enjoyed this latest scene! I hope to keep the suspense going 😀
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Powerfully descriptive, Denise, you make the moments real
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Thank you, ceayr.
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