It’s all about Tense, Right? Writing, Not Writing and the TToT

Hey! Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge’s Blog! It’s a beautiful Friday. In fact, it is a perfect beach day! 90+ temperature, screaming ass sunshine and little to less than zero, breeze. A standstill, summer afternoon. All fine and dandy if you live near a beach.

Girlie no longer lives near the beach. She finds herself once again a resident within the nation’s capital beltway, more specifically Northern Virginia. Presently, she sits upon her bed eagerly awaiting the possibility of the day. The 18″, light gray stand fan oscillates air that otherwise would be a tad on the stifling side. She sits, ancient lapbaby resting confortably on her upper thighs. Her jean clad legs stretch straight out at an almost 90 degree angle, left foot crossed over the right foot, red polish still bright upon toes deprived of beach sand. Sitting cattycorner against 2 pale, buttercup yellow walls, she waits for the thankfuls. Let’s wait with her, shall we?

1 …do we have a number 1? We do and a couple more. Not in any particular order, priority and/or preference, our 1st thankful is for this day (well, yeah, this one’s a priority lol). For the waking up to another opportunity and the fact that it is a stellar weather day, and that, my friends, is the cream cheese frosting on top of the carrot cake.

2 the move. Office move that is. All is packed and the transition is in motion. And so the timelines be shifting. They don’t have to of course, but Girlie, she’s about recognizing the opportunities that always surround us but for our own myopia or plain old stinking resistance to change. Or…fear.

3 vacations! Huge thankfuls for time away from normal environs. Don’t we become dulled by routine after awhile? Of course! And so, somebody invented the “Vacation“.

how do 3 clarks react when contemplating taking a selfie of all 3 of them together? There is another like picture in which the 3 clarks are pointing their cameras at the mirror to take said “selfie”. lol (see below)
Great thinking Clark! 😀

5 the Wakefield Doctrine. Go back to #4 🙂

6 meeting Cyndi, Cynthia, Sageleaf and all incarnations of this amazing clarklike female.

7 sucessful selfies

8 (going to “steal” from Clark. That’s right. Going to post this today, Friday, and leave at least 2 spots for the weekend thankfuls. There’s going to be some.

9   (reserved)

10 (reserved)

 

Confluence of timeLines and a TToT

Hey, welcome to my blog. I’m Girlie, GirlieOnTheEdge to be precise. And holy shit, is my brain all over the damn place. I had thoughts, an opening for this post, oh about an hour ago. Obviously, I’m not even close to writing those words. Nope.

I had a very, very disturbing incident about 20 minutes ago. Very. For 2 reasons. The second of which I’ll list first. The fact that I forgot! (right here? channel Leo Getz in 1st Lethal…doing his ok thing). I walked into the guest room I am sleeping in while on vacation. Music playing. Instantly, I “recognized” it. It was at once a physical recognition, a body thing. But! Body only as my brain was drawing a blank as to who the vocalist was, the name of the band. I guessed someone else. The band and vocalist were a significant part of my life once upon a time. The signficant that does not leave you, like some of the bands of the 80’s :).  And I guessed wrong. When I found out who was playing I was immediately mortified that I did not instantly identify the band. Holy shit damn. Then! I realized (just as bad) that I had forgotten (what comes first?) that I was in a phase of transition. In fact, had been going through that phase in a very long, unprecedented drive to my homeland yesterday.

You see, the thing I forgot was that returning to the place I was born and lived is to return to a person I hadn’t been in over 20 years, a person who has lived in a diversely different place for a very long time. And so, it clicked. I was experiencing the residual effect of transitioning timeLines. Caught smack dab in the middle. Scary. Sure, it could be I’m losing my memory. I choose to believe it was what happens when you’re caught going from one “place” to another.

The confusion surely came from the confluence of the 2 timelines. Present VA, current RI. And! on top of that, I now remember silently speaking an intention prior to my trip to return to “who” I was when I lived here. Yes, even from a metaphysical perspective, impossible. Nothing like messing with the Cat lol

But let’s not get caught up in my current existential conundrum! It’s Sunday for most folks and I know that I am late but not too late to participate in once Lizzi’s, now Josie’s, Ten Things of Thankful bloghop.

1  Arriving safely in RI.

2  Michael

3  It’s sunny today! Wonderful.

4  That I am able to set aside the self pressure that I should have already taken a shower, etc, etc at 11:41 am. Hey! I’m on vacation! 😀

5  To have this time to spend with family.

6  For all those things that made my trip possible.

7  Reminders that life is now, today.

8  the Wakefield Doctrine. I wore my Doc tee into work on Friday, being casual Friday and all. Only wore it because I was rushing and not many people would be in being the Friday before the long weekend. Not that I was afraid to wear it but I work with all rogers, 1 other clark and 1 scott. Enough said.

9  Clamcakes! I’m going to enjoy this local delicacy before returning to the land of crabcakes 😀

10  Treehouses and retreats. Meeting virtual friends irl. Supplemental road trips.

11.  I am thankful I woke up again. Thankful, I have one more opportunity. The choices are mine today. (yes! I can have 11 Ts! comes under the auspices of the BOSR/SBOR. Find it at SR 35.3, subsection 2. )

Hey! It’s Another Draft… I mean TToT!

Hey! GirlieOnTheEdge here. Welcome. I completed a 6 Sentence Story last night. Finally. Except at the end, I realized I had not employed the cue word. Damn! But guess what, it’s not a bad thing (well, yeah, in a way it is) but rather a thankful contained within this post. That’s right. My 1st of the 10 is that I finished a 6 SS. Doesn’t matter to me (well, yeah, kinda does) that I didn’t publish it. I wrote one start to finish. Not exactly compliant but I wrote words that coalesced, made sense and did not exceed the stipulated sentence count. Go Girlie!

This is late to the tablet, but I am more than thankful, grateful, relieved, astonished that the racing across the residential street to get to a dog on the other side grey and white pitbull was not killed by yours truly. Holy shit damn! my reflexes are still good because it was all instinct, no thought, that found my foot slammed to the break pedal as the dog appeared smack dab in the middle of my bumper to miraculously exit on the right. I thought surely I can’t not hit and kill this dog yet, as I started to slowly engage drive, I caught the dog in my right peripheral vision still running to finally reach the dog of his attraction. I then looked in my rear view mirror to see the dog’s owner also racing across the street to get his dog (hope he looked both ways before running). So you know what? TF #2 and #3.

It goes without saying that each day I awaken is a thankful. The TF for yet another opportunity (and I hope there are many more to come) to try and get it right. No pressure there, eh? lol And so, it will be on my list every time I manage to eek out one of these posts.

Has anyone decided yet you can’t claim TF’s from the future? Clark? Anyone? Hm. I suppose it’s risky but I’ll take a chance. It’s my post after all, right?! TF #5 & #6? I’m going on another roadtrip north. To my homeland for 4th of July week. Always a TF to see my family and friends once again. If all goes well, I will also be meeting a friend and her husband irl (hint!) as they too will be journeying on the road. And the twain shall meet 🙂

Here’s a thankful for ya (but you have to sit through the backstory). I suddenly “realized” why it was that I was always walking “on the wrong side of the hallway”. That’s correct. Folks at work have been admonishing me (for the last year!) when they nearly collide with me rounding corners, for walking on the wrong side of the hallway. Who ever heard of such a thing! Apparently there is. There is a protocol to follow, protocol I apparently was not aware of. This is a first. I had never known there was a right or wrong side of the hallway to walk on until my rogerian coworkers pointed it out to me. The aforementioned TF? There’s actually 2  3. TF#7 I’ve managed to walk on the “right side” in the hallways 🙂 TF#8 is that I finally figured out why I did this, why I walked on the left side of the hallway instead of the right side…because, duh! I was French in a past life! TF#9? Why, that such a thought would cross my mind, even for a nanosecond, as a viable explanation for why I walked on the wrong side of the hallway 🙂 🙂

Hey kids. Here’s a different TF and my #10. Diane Keaton. Yeah, the patron saint of clarklike females. She recieved an AFI lifetime achievement award the other night. That makes me….proud. She stands as beacon to all clarklike females (and you too guys) that we can be successful. We can achieve. We can be….happy.

6 Sentence Story Time. In Edgelike Fashion.

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. I return here, briefly, to participate in Thursday’s premier bloghop, 6 Sentence Stories. Thank you zoe, for being the hostess of this creative, fun, challenging….vexing weekly exercise. That’s right, vexing. See, some of us, those who build the blocks we call “writers”, find the challenge of writing a little story-ette in only 6 sentences (no more, no less) somewhat daunting.

Cue of the week? Did someone say “Fault“?…

Trading barbs like ancient Mesopotamian traders on the shores of the Euphrates River, the 2 forever friends stood steadfast, their toes digging into metaphorical sand, each trying in vain to make the other understand their point of view.

Their differences, their conflict, manifesting according to their respective worldviews, had driven a wedge between them, the chasm of conflict blinding each to the other’s grievance.

There was no seeing what the other was seeing, no feeling what the other was feeling, understanding a foreign concept because, while each walked through the same life, life manifested itself differently, as foreign to one as it was for the other.

The years that grew their friendship, that shored up the ties that bound them, now seemed stretched beyond measure. A gulf so wide neither one recognized they’d already converged at the crossroads.

Choice rarely comes wrapped in pretty paper, the difficult choice… when it is what it is for one, and it is what it is for the other, neither is to blame because neither is at fault.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, put ’em Here at the Edge. All 6 Sentences.

So.  You may or may not have a writing process. I used to. I think. Or maybe I had a special time to write. Yeah, that rings a bell. Any-who, it’s 7:50 pm this Thursday evening, the 1st day of the 6 Sentence Story Bloghop hosted by the wonderful Ivy Walker. Whatsay we begin by giving Ms. Walker a rousing round of applause. She’s still hostessing strong and this week she has certainly challenged me with the word cue of the week: “TAP”. Use this word in any of it’s definitions, acronyms, you name it as long as there are 6 sentences with this cue word appearing somewhere among them, you’re golden.

She faltered in front of the non descript, narrow shelving, standing with the weight of her indecision resting  squarely, if not fully, in her left leg.

Why was this so difficult? No one needs to translate the label, no interpreter is needed to describe what her own eyes were clearly seeing but maybe that was the problem, the choices.

There’s always the option to turn around and return to the reliable, steadfast staples, the tried and true familiar, surrounding us, embracing us, day after day.

What were these breadlike “things”, these baked goods with the odd names? Look at this one, surely a misspelling, as no one, on purpose, would use that many “a”s in the spelling of a name?!

At the first tap of my foot on the industrial tiled floor of the tired supermarket, I reached for the bag that read “Guaaaracha” and thought, why not, misspelling or not, the oddly shaped, squared off ovals of breadlike bread appeared to have a light coating of sugar atop them.

The pavlovian response was unmistakable, certain to overpower last minute indecision fortified by a latent fear of the unknown, my path now leading me to checkout…

Image result for guaracha bread

A Birthday TToT Wish…from The Edge

Hello. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. It’s a late night edition of Lizzi’s bloghop, the Ten Things of Thankful. And I have 10. Truth be told, I have at least 10 thankfuls daily but for some reason, on a weekly basis, wreaking of writer’s block affliction, I succumb to sitting blandly, white screen of a mind blank, neurons firing nothing to get my fingers to tap a tap tap upon this keyboard. And then, driving this afternoon listening to Metallica’s Hardwired To Self Destruct, the cobwebs disintegrated and I realized damn! I love this CD!

My thankfuls are all Kevin Bacon’d. Where do I begin? Wait! It doesn’t matter ‘cuz of 6 degrees of separation 🙂 So my first TToT that came to mind this afternoon was my Secret Santa at work.  E gave me (among other “secret” fantastic gifts) the new Metallica CD. Most excellent. I love it. This thought, in turn, reminded me, “yeah, I work with a great group of people“. So #2 TToT it is.

Driving, volume of the music such that only a respectable Metallica loving person would still think insufficent, I thought how much I missed listening to “the old stuff”. Gone are the days of dueling guitarists (of the harder variety). I was caught up in the revelry of the revery of reminiscing of my earlier, musical days. Coming in at 3rd & 4th TToT respectively, but not necessarily in order of preference, (depends on my mood) are Glen Tipton & K.K. Downing and Adrian Smith & Dave Murray, respectively.

Earlier in the day, I was in conversation with a person close to me. His dad has dementia and, not unexpectedly, will tell the same story over and over or he’ll suddenly get emotional when talking about his little dog. D and I got to talking about how, maybe because we’re older, we both can get emotional about some of the more simple things, like our dogs, or hearing a particular song. And then I remembered, not for the first time, that today would have been my dad’s 99th birthday. He is a TToT, 5th and only. His muscial gift of sitting down to a piano and simply….playing, is TToT#6. His birthday reminds me of 2 other TToTs: David Bowie and Elvis. Today is their birthday too. Happy Birthday, Gentlemen.

A mere dusting of snow yesterday is a huge 9th TToT! Lo and behold, there is 1 TToT remaining to complete the 10. The 10th TToT? …..the gift of another 24 hours. The day that is both first and last. This day.

 

 

Lessons, Learning, Peeking Around the Edge

Sunday. Morning. Been up for a coupla hours. Morning has always been a treasure left undiscovered. Eagerly anticipated as it was the one part of the day I could completely indulge. The space between each line uncharted territory beckoning to be discovered/revealed.  When did it stop being the most enjoyable part of my day? When did sitting comfortably, pad and pen in hand, (replaced now with white screen and keyboard) cease to be that solitary walk along the deserted beach, scoping tide washed sand for shells and sea glass and driftwood?

Who do I have to thank for sitting me down, right now and asking? Christina Perri? Pinterest for sending me links that might interest me? That Pinterest shared with me GirlieOnTheEdge’s post “Of Metal and Mayhem” from 2 years ago featuring Ms. Perri singing “Jar of Hearts” is no coincidence (actually it is but let’s roll with it). Whatever the cue that illicits emotional content, I believe I owe it to myself to follow the trail. Cueing the song for the 4th time, chorus now indelibly etched into my brain for the day.

Reminders. How important are they? Very, yes? Of course. Without them we might miss that important drs. appointment or job interview or teacher parent meeting. Daily reminders. We all need them. I don’t want to talk about those reminders though. I want to explore the “holyshitIforgotabouttheohyeah,can’tbelieveIforgotIcouldIforget” reminders. Life shit. Get where I’m going? Inside of your head, reflective, self assessing, time to review, pull down the shade, find a comfy chair and…review. Remember. Remember the stuff you told yourself not to forget.

As on most Saturday nights, I call into the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call in Show. Typically, especially these last couple of years, it’s Clark (your host), myself and more recently and consistenly, Cynthia. Now wait a darn minute! Nuh, huh…it is too very enjoyable and humorfilled and….informative.  When it’s only us clarks, there is much identification going on, many reveals and “aha’s” and in general “no shits!” and yes, it can be a wild time lol. Who says a three way conversation among clarks is boring. It’s not always about the Doctrine ya know. Well, actually how can it not be?

As I suspected, I’ve veered a bit off course. Retrospection, if done properly can be a valuable tool. Recollection without the indulgence of feeling bad, can be a valuable tool. Remembering to remember can be a valuable tool. Thanks to Clark last night, I remembered some things that naturally I’d forgotten. Funny, I made a comment about being in denial (the usual life shit, where am I, what am I, why, why not) and Clark pointed out that when an individual is in a state of denial, they are not consciously aware they’re in denial. Example? If someone sees white, when it is black. They see only white. They do not know it is black because for that person, it is white. So how much of what I see or don’t see has it’s roots embedded in denial? How can I know I’m in a state of denial? Does that imply someone, other than myself, should be telling me how it really is? How’s that for a big ole can of squirming, radioactive worms?! LOL

I’m fairly certain I’ve lost most folks. In fact, I may have even lost the clarks! It’s a rambling, self indulgent kinda day today – it’s a reminder today. To look so that I can see without prejudice, that which is in front of me, surrounding me. What is it I refuse to see? Cannot recognize? When will I know, how can I know those times I’m in denial? Can I rescue my own self? Gee, thank you brother. You’ve always got my back 😀

One of my favorite TV characters, a clark, was all about finding the truth. He insisted the “truth was out there”.  Am I ready for the truth? I know this clip will totally resonate with my people. Here’s to a TToT weekend for yes, this is a TToT post. The thankfuls? They’re out there. Just have to find them.