The Edge. Still Got the blues for you…a TToT

Gary’s dead. Unusual circumstances notwithstanding, those of my generation will all succomb at some point. Death stands, red brocade rope on either side, hand extended waiting to take our ticket, tear it in half. But the popcorn is free, as is everything at the massive concession stand beyond those red ropes.

Good morning! Hm. I wrote the intro paragraph yesterday morning. What a difference a day makes. Or does it? Do we trick ourselves into thinking “today will be different”? How do we/can we measure, gauge, what I like to call, self-evolution?

Clark, the creator of the Wakefield Doctrine, the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, and the blog of the same name, hosts the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Drive Call in show. (necessary info is on the Doctrine’s home page.) Cynthia Sageleaf is a frequent caller and last night was no exception. It was an enjoyable call and, as is often the case when Cynthia calls in, the conversation extends well beyond the 8:45 pm “end” time. Last evening, while catching up on the most recent developments and acomplishments in Ms. Sageleaf’s life, we got onto the topic of “change” and “self development”. How does it manifest? When, can we, as the subject take note to it’s effects in our lives, other lives?

You may be scratching your head and thinking, “damn! what stimulating  conversation…not!” lol…and yet, it is! We always have a delightful, engaging, often humorous exchange of life’s observations. Since Clark, Cynthia and myself are clarks, the conversation naturally is centric to how we continue to learn the language and behavoir of the scotts and rogers in our world. As clarks, it is all about understanding. With understanding comes recognition. With recognition comes action. See how that works for a clark?

If you are a clark, no doubt this will resonate with you. If not, remember the basic principle: scotts act, clarks think and rogers feel. What is the Wakefield Doctrine? It is a perspective, it is a tool. It is, for me, indispensible.

Hey Josie! You still there? Order comin’ right up….10 Things of Thankful:

1. the Wakefield Doctrine. For the obvious, but also as the vehicle by which I made Cyndi’s aquaintance when she called in that Saturday night so long ago:)
2. The results show the osteoporosis in my spine can now be considered ostopenia. Break out the streamers and balloons. Good news:D
3. Music. Always a thankful. And not just music but the obvious! the artists who create the magic that provides escape, energy, motiviation, calm, sadness…the emotional engineers in my life.
4. I am thankful for the encouragement I receive to not give up on writing. To not give up on re-learning to play my bass.

5.  So the picture over there from the eclipse is supposed to be on this side of 5. What the hell. Someday, oneday, if I have some more of them, I will work on the whole inserting pictures into a post. The thankful? I’m not embarrassed by my seeming inability to manipulate basic blog features/functions!

6. Second Chance Thrift store run by my local Humane Society.

7.  Rockin’ Rasberry Cheesecake Ice Cream.

8.  So this is going to sound weird but, I’m grateful that I still notice shit. Let’s face it, sometimes, we all kind of rush through the day without taking the time to remind ourselves to slow down, all the while not having a clue of all the cool stuff we missed out on. Observations of people, places, synchronistic events, weather, the hue of a sky, the timbre of light at a precise moment. We lose the sense of being in the moment.

9.  Dammit! Look at the form this post has taken. See! I should have put the picture at the very end. Then I would have a nice centered list with a fanning out at the end. OMG. What an old person I am. Or, is it the lack of patience. Or thinking that I should be doing something else more important. Higher on the scale of “stuff I want to accomplish”, the worrying about a future that doesn’t exist and won’t if I don’t take the damn time to turn off my brain and be in the moment right now. Enjoy it, take care of it and not look so far ahead. Afterall, there may not be a tomorrow. So, be happy with today. Funny, that also was a topic that came up in the call last night. The idea of time. How to better use it, what causes us to lose track of it in the first place and the helpful methods for staying “on track”

10.  Today. Not tomorrow. Today. I will not tire of reminding myself and you, that today is our gift. Let’s not squander it. That doesn’t mean it has to be filled with activity and “doing stuff”. It simply means we should engage and participate in “the moments that make up a dull day”.

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Will She? or Won’t She? It’s SSS Time from the Edge

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. I’ve all but ceased many activities I once enjoyed and perhaps was even pretty good at. But I’m afraid I have succumbed to/indulged in/given over to, the notion that I no longer write. But I haven’t given up completely and therefore, I’ll try. For a little while longer. Hell, maybe for as long as Zoe graciously continues to host this hop.

I have enjoyed writing a 6 (if you don’t know what “SSS” stands for then click on the link in the last sentence) in the past. It is a past that feels far away, and not a little “foreign”. Why? Oh, I know why. I’ve been armchairing it since I was a kid lol

Are the wagers placed? Good. What say we find out what appears on the screen in say the next, hm…5 minutes? …

He half stumbled alongside the rain rutted, gravel strewn driveway, pre dawn dew coating his upper lip.
The light…. appeared dimly, not too distant, he could do this, he could make it to the door, into the house none worse for the….wear.
What a night! Was he recollecting acurately the phenomenal fortune he’d had at the blackjack table? Checking his pockets and his wallet, the proof was still there, neatly banded. Wait, just wait until he told Larissa, surely she would forgive him, this one time when he scored so big.

Hey! It’s Another Draft… I mean TToT!

Hey! GirlieOnTheEdge here. Welcome. I completed a 6 Sentence Story last night. Finally. Except at the end, I realized I had not employed the cue word. Damn! But guess what, it’s not a bad thing (well, yeah, in a way it is) but rather a thankful contained within this post. That’s right. My 1st of the 10 is that I finished a 6 SS. Doesn’t matter to me (well, yeah, kinda does) that I didn’t publish it. I wrote one start to finish. Not exactly compliant but I wrote words that coalesced, made sense and did not exceed the stipulated sentence count. Go Girlie!

This is late to the tablet, but I am more than thankful, grateful, relieved, astonished that the racing across the residential street to get to a dog on the other side grey and white pitbull was not killed by yours truly. Holy shit damn! my reflexes are still good because it was all instinct, no thought, that found my foot slammed to the break pedal as the dog appeared smack dab in the middle of my bumper to miraculously exit on the right. I thought surely I can’t not hit and kill this dog yet, as I started to slowly engage drive, I caught the dog in my right peripheral vision still running to finally reach the dog of his attraction. I then looked in my rear view mirror to see the dog’s owner also racing across the street to get his dog (hope he looked both ways before running). So you know what? TF #2 and #3.

It goes without saying that each day I awaken is a thankful. The TF for yet another opportunity (and I hope there are many more to come) to try and get it right. No pressure there, eh? lol And so, it will be on my list every time I manage to eek out one of these posts.

Has anyone decided yet you can’t claim TF’s from the future? Clark? Anyone? Hm. I suppose it’s risky but I’ll take a chance. It’s my post after all, right?! TF #5 & #6? I’m going on another roadtrip north. To my homeland for 4th of July week. Always a TF to see my family and friends once again. If all goes well, I will also be meeting a friend and her husband irl (hint!) as they too will be journeying on the road. And the twain shall meet 🙂

Here’s a thankful for ya (but you have to sit through the backstory). I suddenly “realized” why it was that I was always walking “on the wrong side of the hallway”. That’s correct. Folks at work have been admonishing me (for the last year!) when they nearly collide with me rounding corners, for walking on the wrong side of the hallway. Who ever heard of such a thing! Apparently there is. There is a protocol to follow, protocol I apparently was not aware of. This is a first. I had never known there was a right or wrong side of the hallway to walk on until my rogerian coworkers pointed it out to me. The aforementioned TF? There’s actually 2  3. TF#7 I’ve managed to walk on the “right side” in the hallways 🙂 TF#8 is that I finally figured out why I did this, why I walked on the left side of the hallway instead of the right side…because, duh! I was French in a past life! TF#9? Why, that such a thought would cross my mind, even for a nanosecond, as a viable explanation for why I walked on the wrong side of the hallway 🙂 🙂

Hey kids. Here’s a different TF and my #10. Diane Keaton. Yeah, the patron saint of clarklike females. She recieved an AFI lifetime achievement award the other night. That makes me….proud. She stands as beacon to all clarklike females (and you too guys) that we can be successful. We can achieve. We can be….happy.

Lessons, Learning, Peeking Around the Edge

Sunday. Morning. Been up for a coupla hours. Morning has always been a treasure left undiscovered. Eagerly anticipated as it was the one part of the day I could completely indulge. The space between each line uncharted territory beckoning to be discovered/revealed.  When did it stop being the most enjoyable part of my day? When did sitting comfortably, pad and pen in hand, (replaced now with white screen and keyboard) cease to be that solitary walk along the deserted beach, scoping tide washed sand for shells and sea glass and driftwood?

Who do I have to thank for sitting me down, right now and asking? Christina Perri? Pinterest for sending me links that might interest me? That Pinterest shared with me GirlieOnTheEdge’s post “Of Metal and Mayhem” from 2 years ago featuring Ms. Perri singing “Jar of Hearts” is no coincidence (actually it is but let’s roll with it). Whatever the cue that illicits emotional content, I believe I owe it to myself to follow the trail. Cueing the song for the 4th time, chorus now indelibly etched into my brain for the day.

Reminders. How important are they? Very, yes? Of course. Without them we might miss that important drs. appointment or job interview or teacher parent meeting. Daily reminders. We all need them. I don’t want to talk about those reminders though. I want to explore the “holyshitIforgotabouttheohyeah,can’tbelieveIforgotIcouldIforget” reminders. Life shit. Get where I’m going? Inside of your head, reflective, self assessing, time to review, pull down the shade, find a comfy chair and…review. Remember. Remember the stuff you told yourself not to forget.

As on most Saturday nights, I call into the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call in Show. Typically, especially these last couple of years, it’s Clark (your host), myself and more recently and consistenly, Cynthia. Now wait a darn minute! Nuh, huh…it is too very enjoyable and humorfilled and….informative.  When it’s only us clarks, there is much identification going on, many reveals and “aha’s” and in general “no shits!” and yes, it can be a wild time lol. Who says a three way conversation among clarks is boring. It’s not always about the Doctrine ya know. Well, actually how can it not be?

As I suspected, I’ve veered a bit off course. Retrospection, if done properly can be a valuable tool. Recollection without the indulgence of feeling bad, can be a valuable tool. Remembering to remember can be a valuable tool. Thanks to Clark last night, I remembered some things that naturally I’d forgotten. Funny, I made a comment about being in denial (the usual life shit, where am I, what am I, why, why not) and Clark pointed out that when an individual is in a state of denial, they are not consciously aware they’re in denial. Example? If someone sees white, when it is black. They see only white. They do not know it is black because for that person, it is white. So how much of what I see or don’t see has it’s roots embedded in denial? How can I know I’m in a state of denial? Does that imply someone, other than myself, should be telling me how it really is? How’s that for a big ole can of squirming, radioactive worms?! LOL

I’m fairly certain I’ve lost most folks. In fact, I may have even lost the clarks! It’s a rambling, self indulgent kinda day today – it’s a reminder today. To look so that I can see without prejudice, that which is in front of me, surrounding me. What is it I refuse to see? Cannot recognize? When will I know, how can I know those times I’m in denial? Can I rescue my own self? Gee, thank you brother. You’ve always got my back 😀

One of my favorite TV characters, a clark, was all about finding the truth. He insisted the “truth was out there”.  Am I ready for the truth? I know this clip will totally resonate with my people. Here’s to a TToT weekend for yes, this is a TToT post. The thankfuls? They’re out there. Just have to find them.

And Yet I Find…Another TToT at the Edge

Good morning. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge and my contribution to the Ten Things of Thankful blog hop, courtesy of our own world traveling Lizzi Lewis.

I sit facing almost due east, to my right, early morning sun near blinding me as it demands entrance into the lower level family room in which I have taken refuge today. Light so bright my reflection stares back at me, superimposing my own self over these words. Quite cool. For this, I am thankful.

2. I gaze both at this screen and out the French doors into the world of my homeland. And so, I am thankful for a safe journey yesterday arriving in sunshine.

3. So very thankful I am to be on vacation! It has been a year since having time off. Feels good 🙂

4. I am always thankful for my brother and sister-in-law’s kindess and generosity. They always make me feel welcome when I visit. I’m thinking, hoping, perhaps this trip, this time, clarity will be mine as I sleep soundly in the room of re-direction. I’d like to think I’ll sleep in since I’m on vacation. In my mind’s eye that is what I will do this week. But if today is any indication, I’ll be awake and up before 6:30 am. Wait! That is sleeping in!

5. As things turned out, my visit this week allows me to celebrate my sister’s birthday in person 😀

6. This may be a bit premature, but I’m thankful in advance for being able to get together with a few friends while I’m back. Guess I’d better let them know, eh? 😀 I’m a fan of surprises. rogers, in general, aren’t that into surprises. You know, the preparation thing. Which is why I told my sister Thanksgiving Day I was coming to visit. Sure enough, she made plans for today…last Thursday 🙂 Fine by me since I had made the “surprise” plan for Wednesday night 🙂

7. the Wakefield Doctrine.

8. Proximity to Mystic, CT. It’s where Annaliese grew up. I’m thinking of driving there for some inspiration. The writing thing. Gone for months. Perhaps this trip will facilitate a comeback

9. Finding spots. I have a new spot in the downstairs of this home sitting in the wingback by the French doors, looking out to green and trees. Yup. This is it. This is the writing place. Fingers crossed the words will come.

10. This day.  A gift I shall not squander. I will go out into it and celebrate.

Sleep is Under Rated. Right??

I tried to sneak up on myself tonight, you know to write a 6 Sentence Story. It’s the blog hop hosted by Zoe. Yeah, that Zoe 😀  This week’s cue word is “stick”

Not as easy as you think, sneaking up on yourself, so I’ve sent up a plea to the vowel gods and implored the concierge  of consonents to assist me with this, my entry for this week’s 6 Sentence Story. I mean, if the stars can occaisionally align, then why, oh why can’t the independent letters of the English alphabet align themselves into words to form a clever little story, poem, vignette….something. I mean we’re only talking 6 sentences!

It was Christmas Eve, all Currier & Ives smeared windows, picture perfect New England winter wonderland day, oh, so silent.

Slight crunching could be heard from boots trying to walk on frozen water, almost successful, treading carefully, making their way guiltily to the front door, a stick snapping in two, a precursor to events yet to unfold .

Hushed, yet not night, the sun ambled it’s way, rolling like a beach ball over the dunes towards the distant blue black horizon, to take refuge for another cycle, night following a day, always.

Life, it seemed, would never be the same, an era ending, not so much in fireworks as in the slow extinguishing of a single, solo, smoldering ember, the dying of a fire never meant to go out.

Where, when, how, do paths veer, hearts wander, intent go astray….

Christmas Day, surely was solemn as two hearts lay, torn asunder, beneath the low hanging branches of a holiday tree adorned majestically, sadly for a last time, would the star shine.

 

 

 

…shining stars that dot the darkness of my life

The grey insists on trying to seep through the narrow slats of the mini blinds but, luckily, is absorbed by the sheers overlaying them. The sheers, my protection today. The light cinammon colored material hangs lazily, non chalantly from the tops of the 2 windows that grace my room. And still, there is no light.

It is Saturday morning and I’m reminded that there is a Lizzi event going on. My friend Lizzi, a fellow clark, went out on a limb one day, put forth into the world this thing, this bloghop, in which I participate. I’m sure you’ve heard of it by now. The Ten Things of Thankful. It is her creation, her gift. And all of you who participate, whether writing a Ten Things post or reading a Ten Things post, give it life.

1. Shelter. (from the storm)
2. A reliable car to drive, to get me where I need to go, want to go. Or, simply just to drive.
3. The occaisonal reminder of the important kind. The “hey, snap out of it!” variety.
4. That finally! I was able to see the bird in it’s garage nest. My new parking space at work is right beside a pole in the underground garage. Up on one of the ledges is a bird’s nest. When I would go to my car at lunch or when leaving at the end of the day, a bird would swiftly swoop out of it’s nest and out of the garage. Had I had my camera in my hand yesterday, I could have caught a really good picture of him/her.
5. Little bursts of creativity exploding like a microburst.
6. Almira. While I am enjoying reading the story, I’m also proud to see my brother evolve as a writer.
7. the Wakefield Doctrine.
8. Music. From new artists, like this clarklike female. She speaks true words in her intro. Listen, clarks.
9. That my laptop is still functioning after last week’s blue screen, forced shutdown tantrums.
10. This grey day. Outside and inside. It is what it is. It is what I make it. It is what I choose it to be.
11. SBOR/BSOR baby. Of course I can go to 11. So let’s add Robert Rodriguez. Came back this afternoon to publish this post and decided, what the heck, why don’t I put on the TV. Lo and behold the station I had left it on is playing the “Mexico Trilogy”. Missed El Mariachi and only caught the last 1/3 of Desperado, but now, Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Compliments nicely with the thunderous darkness gathering outside my light cinammon sheers.

Oh, and remember kids, in the immortal words of Stephen Stills,… don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now…