Woke up again. Now what?

“Morning people. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. (It’s now afternoon of the following day. More to the point then, I guess, no?)

So how does that manifest for you? Do you ever wake with that thought?
…woke up, another day, now what?”  Of course. It’s a given. We all have the “things” to do, that’s part of life. But what about that other part, the “hey, my life is counting down, so let’s make this one be the best, could be the last day…” Naah, no pressure there! lol

I suppose it is a part of the aging process that we become more conscious of the no future out in the distance like we once took for granted. The one where we do everything “then” when we get there. Life procrastination. We’re all guilty of it.

Yup. Woke up yesterday morning in quite the contemplative mood, all with dark opaque shades occluding the light of positive thought. Well, not completely opaque. There was enough light to shine on the “wtf are you going to do today to make a difference in the outcome of life as you know it now, huh??

Now that, my friends appears to be my segue into this week’s Ten Things of Thankful. My contribution to the bloghop hosted by our most gracious of hostesses, Josie.

1st place goes to the Wakefield Doctrine. Without it, I wouldn’t have the ability to figure out why people behave the way they do, appreciate another’s personal reality. If you are familiar with the life tool, the perspective, that is the Wakefield Doctrine, then you know what I’m talking about. If you’ve not heard of it, check it out here. Browse the site, read some comments, ask a question! Clark will answer with his typical enthusiasm. After all, he is the creator of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers.

Alrighty then! Let’s crunch those other numbers shall we? No. 2 only because it comes to mind is, weather, season. The time of year I love and don’t love at the same time 😀 I love the fall colors, the witnessing of nature changing her clothing. (ew! that didn’t come out right! not what I meant!)


No. 3. Witnessing and enjoying youth. More specifically, that of my 2 young nephews, great-nephews to be more precise. Hopefully, I have a special placement along their timeline when one day, as adults, they will recall fond memories of “Aunt Denise”. Our nature walks, Saturday movie nights, riding in my car, the Ramones playing. (the 8 year old is fond of the Ramones 🙂 )

No. 4.
 While it is not my chosen profession, my job. I am most thankful to work with a great group of people and be afforded the opportunity to learn a lot. I can honestly say, it is always a challenge. And that is a good thing.

No. 5. My health. I recently attended a “send off” dinner for a co-worker who will soon be undergoing a bone marrow transplant. While these operations are never guaranteed, I have confidence she will recover, come back to work, return to her life, her family. Her spirit has been tremendous, her attitude phenomenal. She truly is an inspiration.

No. 6. I’m thankful for the inspriration of those I’ve come to know through the internet. Through the telling of their stories, events from their lives, their accomplishments and even their failures. A special shout out to Josie each time she leaves a comment on one of my posts. She never fails to stop by and while I am guilty of not always recipricating in kind, she should know that her comments are always thought provoking and always give me food for thought.

No 7. A new apple! That’s right. It’s called Sweetie Crispy. No, it’s not a Honey Crisp. It is my new favorite for however long it is in season.

No. 8. I cannot not list music as a thankful.

No. 9. My laptop. That’s right. I have yet to purchase a new one. I have difficulty letting go of her. She is still functioning. Sure, she takes spells, has momentary lapses but who doesn’t? I will know when it is time to let her rest.

Thankful 10. Today. And each day I can call “today”. It is my gift, it is my opportunity. It is my responsibility.

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Sometimes it’s OK to Break the Rules. It’s a TToT.

Summer’s still hanging around these parts. Came out of the gym this yesterday afternoon around 1:45 into beaming, screaming still summer sunshine and humidity. A bit of a contrast to the fall foliage changing color thing going on. But hey, no complaints. No sir. It may look like you should wear a sweater but I can wait 🙂 [didn’t have to wait long! I needed, but did not wear, a sweater today!!]

I realize I’m a tad really late in posting but time has taken on an entirely new characteristic. It has become evasive. Be that as it may, my first TF is for Josie Two Shoes for her gracious willingness to host this bloghop, the Ten Things of Thankful. Even when she is busy with life and travelling and such, she still provides us the opportunity to link up and share our thankfuls, our gratefuls, our not so ‘fuls each and every week. Thank you J.

TF #2. Ability to think outside the box. Yeah, let’s call it that.
So last Wednesday night driving home from work I was lucky enough to have an experience that got me thinking about stuff. Why yes! thinking of stuff in terms of the Wakefield Doctrine. Another lightbulb going on moment, another affirmation of the Doctrine. (I realized there were way too many words in my describing the experience for a TToT! Whatsay I write about it in a post all by itself!) 

TF#3. I bought myself some flowers for my desk at work this last week. They make me smile everytime I look at them. “Fun-fetti flowers” anyone? 😀 TF#4. I forgot this one! On one of my lunchtime walks recently, I walked by this tree. The bark, or lack thereof, looked really cool, almost surreal…  

TF#5. Possible new coffee shop stop? Sitting on the corner of University and Main, this little shop is within walking distance of my now, not so new office.          TF#6. Decided to enjoy a walk before dark. On my return trip, I spotted this black squirrel on the side of a tree, head pointing towards the ground. Tried to get closer for a better picture but didn’t want to spook him. He was way cooler looking in real life 🙂       

TF#7. New shoes! Always a thankful, eh? 😀

TF#8. I am thankful for the generosity of one of my co-workers. A couple of weeks ago she went apple picking. A few days later she brings into work home made apple crumble pie. Dee-ee-licious! The pie was gone before lunch. Once word went out, poof! Last week she gave me a mason jar of apple butter. Bliss in a jar 🙂

TF#9. YouTube gods! No, lol cuz it’s not really them I’m thankful. It’s for something else…something un-nameable. Youtube gods in this instance because it was through the youtube that I was reminded that there is power all around us, all the time. And sometimes, it tosses us a morsel or two as a reminder. How else do I explain, through no obvious connection from previous youtube searches, the musical suggestion made to me and which I’ve provided for you today. I had long forgotten Stanley, forgotten School Days, hell, forgotten Return to Forever. Forgotten a part of my past. This was my gift. Memories that had tumbled out of my consciousness into the vast repository for all things loved.

TF#10. Each day. Reminders. Glimpses. Moments out of time.

Copy that Zen Masters. The Edge’s got Nothin’ on You!

Hello and good evening. Maybe it will be evening when you read this. Maybe not. Perhaps it will be morning. Or afternoon. Irrelevant. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge, whenever you read this, my entry in Zoe’s sensational, Six Sentence Story bloghop.

I haven’t written a 6 in awhile. Funny thing happened on my way to the…amazing how ancient movie references still linger in our minds after, well, you do the math! Sometimes to get a boulder rolling somewhere in this stoneless quarry that is my creative head, I will google the cue word. And sometimes I’ll tack on an additional word. Tonight, instead of googling the cue word “fluid”,  I googled “fluid reality”. 

While I feel “fluid reality” is an inadequate descriptor of my 30 minutes or so of walking at lunch today, it was all I could think to google:) The search results were certainly in keeping with my assessment of my time out of doors this afternoon.

I made a deal with Zoe earlier. If she threw up, I’d throw up….a Six Sentence Story. So here she blows 😀

No cloud deigned to obscure the sun’s majestic rule over this day.
A day of simple, crystaline beauty, pregnant with immeasurable power.
No barrier, no film obscuring my vision of the reality that lay before me.
I was one with my surroundings, absorbed in a fluid landscape.
Blue sky blending with black asphalt, green, turning fall, trees dotted the crisply mown grass as I journeyed.
Time ceased in an autumn still life all my own…

The Edge. Still Got the blues for you…a TToT

Gary’s dead. Unusual circumstances notwithstanding, those of my generation will all succomb at some point. Death stands, red brocade rope on either side, hand extended waiting to take our ticket, tear it in half. But the popcorn is free, as is everything at the massive concession stand beyond those red ropes.

Good morning! Hm. I wrote the intro paragraph yesterday morning. What a difference a day makes. Or does it? Do we trick ourselves into thinking “today will be different”? How do we/can we measure, gauge, what I like to call, self-evolution?

Clark, the creator of the Wakefield Doctrine, the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, and the blog of the same name, hosts the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Drive Call in show. (necessary info is on the Doctrine’s home page.) Cynthia Sageleaf is a frequent caller and last night was no exception. It was an enjoyable call and, as is often the case when Cynthia calls in, the conversation extends well beyond the 8:45 pm “end” time. Last evening, while catching up on the most recent developments and acomplishments in Ms. Sageleaf’s life, we got onto the topic of “change” and “self development”. How does it manifest? When, can we, as the subject take note to it’s effects in our lives, other lives?

You may be scratching your head and thinking, “damn! what stimulating  conversation…not!” lol…and yet, it is! We always have a delightful, engaging, often humorous exchange of life’s observations. Since Clark, Cynthia and myself are clarks, the conversation naturally is centric to how we continue to learn the language and behavoir of the scotts and rogers in our world. As clarks, it is all about understanding. With understanding comes recognition. With recognition comes action. See how that works for a clark?

If you are a clark, no doubt this will resonate with you. If not, remember the basic principle: scotts act, clarks think and rogers feel. What is the Wakefield Doctrine? It is a perspective, it is a tool. It is, for me, indispensible.

Hey Josie! You still there? Order comin’ right up….10 Things of Thankful:

  1. the Wakefield Doctrine. For the obvious, but also as the vehicle by which I made Cyndi’s aquaintance when she called in that Saturday night so long ago:)
  2. The results show the osteoporosis in my spine can now be considered ostopenia. Break out the streamers and balloons. Good news:D
  3. Music. Always a thankful. And not just music but the obvious! the artists who create the magic that provides escape, energy, motiviation, calm, sadness…the emotional engineers in my life.
  4. I am thankful for the encouragement I receive to not give up on writing. To not give up on re-learning to play my bass.

5.  So the picture over there from the eclipse is supposed to be on this side of 5. What the hell. Someday, oneday, if I have some more of them, I will work on the whole inserting pictures into a post. The thankful? I’m not embarrassed by my seeming inability to manipulate basic blog features/functions!

6. Second Chance Thrift store run by my local Humane Society.

7.  Rockin’ Rasberry Cheesecake Ice Cream.

8.  So this is going to sound weird but, I’m grateful that I still notice shit. Let’s face it, sometimes, we all kind of rush through the day without taking the time to remind ourselves to slow down, all the while not having a clue of all the cool stuff we missed out on. Observations of people, places, synchronistic events, weather, the hue of a sky, the timbre of light at a precise moment. We lose the sense of being in the moment.

9.  Dammit! Look at the form this post has taken. See! I should have put the picture at the very end. Then I would have a nice centered list with a fanning out at the end. OMG. What an old person I am. Or, is it the lack of patience. Or thinking that I should be doing something else more important. Higher on the scale of “stuff I want to accomplish”, the worrying about a future that doesn’t exist and won’t if I don’t take the damn time to turn off my brain and be in the moment right now. Enjoy it, take care of it and not look so far ahead. Afterall, there may not be a tomorrow. So, be happy with today. Funny, that also was a topic that came up in the call last night. The idea of time. How to better use it, what causes us to lose track of it in the first place and the helpful methods for staying “on track”

10.  Today. Not tomorrow. Today. I will not tire of reminding myself and you, that today is our gift. Let’s not squander it. That doesn’t mean it has to be filled with activity and “doing stuff”. It simply means we should engage and participate in “the moments that make up a dull day”.

Fairytales and Thankfuls. Let’s Talk TToT.

Here I sit in my tiny room, chores unattended. I try and coax a little sunshine into the space created by these four buttercupped walls, beyond the cinammon sheers and upturned blinds… but there is none to be found. Gray hovers hopefully, somewhere there is light and eventually it will find its way…

…it is early evening. I have returned. Still no light shines through any pane, chilled by cooling air, the world out there remains the same. Sunlight is not necessary to illuminate the thankfuls, the gratefuls, the how lucky I ams. No sir. I can write this in the darkest gloom or the brightest of sunlight.

Let’s give pause to thank Josie, who has taken the baton, taken the mantle and made it her own. Here’s to you Josie for providing a link to possibility and participation.

Hey! Look at me! I woke up again today, Sunday. In good health (as far as I know) and that, my friends, is ALWAYS a thankful. To boot? Unlike yesterday, the sun is shining this morning. Here, why don’t we proceed, we’ll even employ the more conventional numbering system…..

4  Technology! Phones! The YouTube! for sending me a suggestion this morning. It’s a 3 hour (yes, 3 hours) long recording of Johnny and Edgar Winter at the Bottom Line in NY in 1978. The recording is of excellent quality. *sigh* Johnny. My first guitar crush.

5  The possibility of anything. Why, yes, getting oneself into this particular mindset is not easy to put it simply. At times, it seems impossible! So, when faced with the stubborn refusal of my brain to allow my body to participate in this consideration, what to do? Trickery! That’s right! By whatever means necessary, trick yourself! It worked on Carlos, it can work on me, right? lol The catch of course, is I have to perpetrate the trickery on my own damn self 😀

6 the Wakefield Doctrine. #5 was a good segue, non?

7 FB friends. Yes, they are friends to me even when/if I don’t comment or if all I do is click the “Like” button. They are all still part of my “world”.  If I’ve all but disappeared to them, they remain friends because they share of themselves. When individuals share, possibility has opportunity to become reality. Somewhere, in some fashion. “Cause and effect” come in all kinds of packages. And it goes without saying that it is the positive of which I speak!

8 A dog barking somewhere outside of my abode. A short time ago, earlier in the morning (which makes it all the more special) I heard the deep timbre of a dog’s bark. Deep signifying large canine. This is important as unfortunately had it been the barking of a smaller dog, I would not have had the same positive reaction. No disrespect to the smaller canines out there and their owners 😀  I am thankful for the duration of that barking while the light of the sun shone through my cinammon sheers, because I felt….the imminent, almost palpable, on the cusp, seasonal change. Just a few moments 🙂

SR 1.3 (go ask Clark)

10 Music, moments in time captured for perpetuity, the awareness that today is the only day. Sing whenever you can…

6 Sentence Story Time. In Edgelike Fashion.

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. I return here, briefly, to participate in Thursday’s premier bloghop, 6 Sentence Stories. Thank you zoe, for being the hostess of this creative, fun, challenging….vexing weekly exercise. That’s right, vexing. See, some of us, those who build the blocks we call “writers”, find the challenge of writing a little story-ette in only 6 sentences (no more, no less) somewhat daunting.

Cue of the week? Did someone say “Fault“?…

Trading barbs like ancient Mesopotamian traders on the shores of the Euphrates River, the 2 forever friends stood steadfast, their toes digging into metaphorical sand, each trying in vain to make the other understand their point of view.

Their differences, their conflict, manifesting according to their respective worldviews, had driven a wedge between them, the chasm of conflict blinding each to the other’s grievance.

There was no seeing what the other was seeing, no feeling what the other was feeling, understanding a foreign concept because, while each walked through the same life, life manifested itself differently, as foreign to one as it was for the other.

The years that grew their friendship, that shored up the ties that bound them, now seemed stretched beyond measure. A gulf so wide neither one recognized they’d already converged at the crossroads.

Choice rarely comes wrapped in pretty paper, the difficult choice… when it is what it is for one, and it is what it is for the other, neither is to blame because neither is at fault.

 

 

 

 

Lessons, Learning, Peeking Around the Edge

Sunday. Morning. Been up for a coupla hours. Morning has always been a treasure left undiscovered. Eagerly anticipated as it was the one part of the day I could completely indulge. The space between each line uncharted territory beckoning to be discovered/revealed.  When did it stop being the most enjoyable part of my day? When did sitting comfortably, pad and pen in hand, (replaced now with white screen and keyboard) cease to be that solitary walk along the deserted beach, scoping tide washed sand for shells and sea glass and driftwood?

Who do I have to thank for sitting me down, right now and asking? Christina Perri? Pinterest for sending me links that might interest me? That Pinterest shared with me GirlieOnTheEdge’s post “Of Metal and Mayhem” from 2 years ago featuring Ms. Perri singing “Jar of Hearts” is no coincidence (actually it is but let’s roll with it). Whatever the cue that illicits emotional content, I believe I owe it to myself to follow the trail. Cueing the song for the 4th time, chorus now indelibly etched into my brain for the day.

Reminders. How important are they? Very, yes? Of course. Without them we might miss that important drs. appointment or job interview or teacher parent meeting. Daily reminders. We all need them. I don’t want to talk about those reminders though. I want to explore the “holyshitIforgotabouttheohyeah,can’tbelieveIforgotIcouldIforget” reminders. Life shit. Get where I’m going? Inside of your head, reflective, self assessing, time to review, pull down the shade, find a comfy chair and…review. Remember. Remember the stuff you told yourself not to forget.

As on most Saturday nights, I call into the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call in Show. Typically, especially these last couple of years, it’s Clark (your host), myself and more recently and consistenly, Cynthia. Now wait a darn minute! Nuh, huh…it is too very enjoyable and humorfilled and….informative.  When it’s only us clarks, there is much identification going on, many reveals and “aha’s” and in general “no shits!” and yes, it can be a wild time lol. Who says a three way conversation among clarks is boring. It’s not always about the Doctrine ya know. Well, actually how can it not be?

As I suspected, I’ve veered a bit off course. Retrospection, if done properly can be a valuable tool. Recollection without the indulgence of feeling bad, can be a valuable tool. Remembering to remember can be a valuable tool. Thanks to Clark last night, I remembered some things that naturally I’d forgotten. Funny, I made a comment about being in denial (the usual life shit, where am I, what am I, why, why not) and Clark pointed out that when an individual is in a state of denial, they are not consciously aware they’re in denial. Example? If someone sees white, when it is black. They see only white. They do not know it is black because for that person, it is white. So how much of what I see or don’t see has it’s roots embedded in denial? How can I know I’m in a state of denial? Does that imply someone, other than myself, should be telling me how it really is? How’s that for a big ole can of squirming, radioactive worms?! LOL

I’m fairly certain I’ve lost most folks. In fact, I may have even lost the clarks! It’s a rambling, self indulgent kinda day today – it’s a reminder today. To look so that I can see without prejudice, that which is in front of me, surrounding me. What is it I refuse to see? Cannot recognize? When will I know, how can I know those times I’m in denial? Can I rescue my own self? Gee, thank you brother. You’ve always got my back 😀

One of my favorite TV characters, a clark, was all about finding the truth. He insisted the “truth was out there”.  Am I ready for the truth? I know this clip will totally resonate with my people. Here’s to a TToT weekend for yes, this is a TToT post. The thankfuls? They’re out there. Just have to find them.