“…I will follow where the emotional content leads me.”

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Once again, I lift the title of this post from the screen of daily words. We cull what we need from wherever, yes? And so I offer up this, my TToT post. 10 things. Surely, there are 10 items I would be thankful for this week? Assurément. Ciertamente.

  • Getting sick. What?! Yes. Ordinarily, I am a most healthy person. However, this Friday past I found myself under siege once again. 2nd time since Thanksgiving. Explanation, why a good thing? Well, you know that out of body, slight to the left feeling you get when your throat is telling you it hurts and your head is screaming to take away the pillows covering your sinuses? You’re a little lightheaded but you didn’t take any drugs? Yeah. That. In spite of feeling like absolute shit, I was still pleasant at work. I entertained, I engaged. I made people laugh.  Not that I can’t do this while “healthy”. But this was a tad different. Girlie’s scottian secondary ruled the day by grabbing me by the arm and telling me “go take a nap, I gotcha covered”.  Emotional content baby.
  • Friday Night VidChat. I don’t attend these like I did in the old days. Last Friday (sick Friday) I stayed until the very end of the chat! Imagine that lol. It was very enjoyable in spite of my being under the weather.
  • No power outage. 30+ inches of snow here. Losing power would have sucked.
  • The Ritz. The eighties were cool. Yes. Really.
  • My “new” phone. I’m still amazed at all it can do!
  • Always for job, shelter, transportation and food.
  • An invite to Sarah’s big birthday bash. Go Sarah! It’s gonna be huge. Why, our very own Lizzie will be in attendance as she hits the shores of “Murica yet again.
  • Blogdominion. A way cool serial Clark is writing. Just the beginning. Oh yeah, you can catch it over here too! Under Fantasy
  • Daylight Savings Time in….43 days exactly. Begins on a Sunday :D
  • Today. My only day.

Fear… Resist. Dispatch. Discover all that is present, available and at your disposal. 

Straight from the Archives…”Of Metal and Mayhem and the Softer Side…. “

‘Morning. This didn’t quite work the way I expected. No never mind. Today is my first re-print. May I present a GirlieOnTheEdge post from July 30, 2014 (sans comments):

….of clarklike females. So yeah. The vid today is of a clarklike female. Performed by a clarklike female. Du-uh. Dead giveaway? The boots. With that dress. OK. “Easy peasy”. For clarks to spot at any rate. Sure. Plenty of my sisters wear boots. It’s not the fact of boots, rather the wearing of them that makes the difference. What do I mean by that? Well, it’s about what it represents. It is not a conscious thing.

How to tell the clark, scotts and rogers in your life? Well, there are certain “characteristics”, markers if you will, that give you a clue. Bottom line? It’s how a person relates themselves to the world. I often talk with Clark of the Wakefield Doctrine. You too, btw, can call in every Saturday night, 8:00 pm EST.  We wind up talking Doctrine eventually, right Cyndi? :)

I’m about self-development. Most of you know that already.  Being a clark, it’s a nev-er – en-ding endeavour. As it happens, I was talking to Clark yesterday. One thing led to another and we got talking about his post about rogers and their “expression“. About what it means for a roger to lose their “expression”, what it means when there is no longer a “context” for them to manifest that expression. Conclusion? It’s not a personal thing. It’s about the herd.

Our conversation ended with a brief discussion about the rogerian characteristic known as “lashing out”. What it represents, how it manifests and with whom. Hint:  scotts got nothin’ to worry about! It’s a sensitive topic for sure. Who likes to talk about the negative aspects of our selves?

I won’t lie. It’s often not a pretty conversation. But you know the old saying – “no pain, no gain”. Self improvement, from a clark’s perspective, requires talking about (for example) our propensity to tolerate a roger’s lashing out as much as why rogers behave this way with clarks (mostly).

Yep. Much can be learned about oneself via the Wakefield Doctrine. And I’m talking to you scotts! and rogers now as well. You can learn a ton of shit about other people. And learn a lot about your own damn self.

At some point, when the dots start connecting, when the language to express the understanding begins to emerge, it’s a hell of a lot of fun. It’s not all about the negatives. It’s simply about what makes people tick. Life 101.

There’s a common saying about the Doctrine: “it’s for you, not them”.  Think I’m going to request a special order t shirt from Clark with just that saying…

It’s Wednesday. Thanks for stopping by and reading my mid-week ponderings. Hey Christine! More music that doesn’t make your ears bleed:)

 

Discomfort and the Wakefield Doctrine. TToT Edge Style

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. It’s a snowy/snowing Saturday morning. Wind screams intermittently beyond my 2nd story windows, glazed from Mother Nature’s self expression. What on earth would we do without some form of self expression? Yet, oftentimes “it happens that we live our lives in chains, And we never even know we have the key. See! I couldn’t resist. With the recent passing of yet another musician, storyteller, those lyrics insisted they follow “yet, oftentimes”. Self expression.

Title? Oh yeah. Hm. Discomfort. Well, the thought hit me not long ago that life ….oh no, here it comes again…..“he’s in the best selling show, is there life on Mars?” choices aside, I’ve gone through a coupla layers of “discomfort” in recent years. You might say I’ve traded up and yet I seem to persist in asking the question “how many more times can I trade up“. Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!

Title? Oh yeah. the Wakefield Doctrine. Thank God. No, seriously. Especially for we clarks. For us, everything is understanding (clarks think). If we can understand a thing then somehow it will make us….what? feel better? about ourselves? give us the answer to the eternal question(s)? Well, yeah, pretty much. It’s a tool, this Wakefield Doctrine. A life tool like no other. A tool by which I/we can make sense of others’ behavior, our own behavior. It’s a perspective. Couple that with a desire to improve one’s own life and well, shit will start to make sense. Life can be better.

Numero Dos. the TToT.

Numero Tres. That I’ve begun my Spanish lessons. No matter my tutor is 9 :D

Numero Cuatro. Generosity. Awareness. Perspective. When I am not entertaining the tonal, I can totally immerse myself in the joy of experiencing new things regardless of the “big picture”. Like new food! My Bolivian landlordess was cooking up dinner for her family last night. She explained all that she was cooking. It started with how, in her country, eggs are incorporated into dinner, not breakfast. The meal last night was a rice concoction with a little meat mixed in (hamburger I think), sliced sausage of some sort and fried plantain. You put a bunch of rice on a plate, sliced sausage and plantain on the side, then top if off with the fried egg. Carola gave me a small dish of the rice and a piece of plantain to sample. Damn! if it wasn’t tasty!

Numero Cinco. Ability to work remotely.

Numero Seis y Siete. OK. Invoking “Rule 7.35 found under sub-heading Dualities, that allows for the use of 2 Thankfuls when combined in a contextual manner. Obvious or not.” (Refer to Girlie August, 2014 TToT post. We talking legit rule here people. lol) Oh sorry! For anyone new, I refer to the SBOR/BOSR. Go ask Clark or Zoe, or Cynthia.  Combined thankfuls? 1) my sister in law + 2) my “new” car. Numero ocho explains it all.

Numero Ocho. God’s protection. My driving skill. Wednesday night commute from hell. (all 3.5 hrs.)

Numero Nueve. My health, my job, a room. I have a point of origin.

Numero Diez. Este día.

It is all yours. To see, to touch, to embrace. To share.

“I Was Young. I Was Foolish”. Sunday Edition. TT0T From the Edge.

Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Today, is the Sunday edition of Lizzie’s Ten Things of Thankful.

Music is my second language. I am fluent in it. I can’t always speak it well with others. I know it, I feel it. It is me. Whatever the music, song, lyric is at that particular moment. Expression. Self-expression. Inability to self express. Outlets. We all need them. I need a creative outlet. Once upon a time ago it was this, the writing of words. I suppose it still is to a certain extent. Then I realized 3 years ago this summer, when I’d turned a corner in my goal of playing bass that I had found another outlet. I knew it was there! I knew it! Because I felt it. Only, months after this revelation, I left one life (and one family) for an unknown, as yet (duh!) undetermined one. The one I now find myself living. Only this life? So not what I expected, intended or otherwise thought I would have. So what about that, huh?! If you’re single, then life can be less complicated in many ways. If you’re not, the lines can start to fuzz out and bleed. Yeah, sure. But what about choices?! What about them? They’re our own to make. Easy for you to say. Easy if you’re a scott!

  1. For the text I just got from Ivy aka Zoe. Smile. Put a big one on my face. Thanks.
  2. For not completely succombing to the “dark side”.
  3. For the fortune of finding kind, genuine folks with which to co-habitate while I “find” the life I came here to establish. And! the opportunity to learn to speak Spanish from them.
  4. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.
  5. For my health. To sustain me through little sleep and much work. I did it. Cool.
  6. For remembering things, moments, achievements that somehow go missing when you most need them.
  7. For the Wakefield Doctrine.
  8. For Blogdominion! Yes, good story. And a reminder that it’s all there if we want it. It takes discipline and desire.
  9. For the generosity of others. I feel blessed.
  10. For waking another day.

Options. Choice. Action. There is only one day. This day. 

That’s Exactly What I’m Talkin’ About! In 6 Sentences!

Have I mentioned  what? can’t you see I’m working here….what? I haven’t? er, excuse me…ahem… Hello and welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Today’s offering is a 6 Sentence Thursday Story.

It’s Thursday evening, 9:15 pm Friday and I’ve pulled out my 8×5 yellow legal pad, the baby one ‘cuz I couldn’t get to the big one. (damn! the Lady will live forever!) I was so very tired yesterday/this morning, didn’t get up until 5/4:30. I hadn’t anything in mind for a 6 sentence until right before I had to leave for work. In all honesty, I was sort of making self suggestions based on my mood. Then I grabbed a pen and the aforementioned pad…

T marked the spot, goading, taunting me until I finally gave in and I knew my insides had started to congeal like jello that’s lost it’s bounce, lost it’s cold, just out of the fridge, jiggle. No, no smiles today kids.

T stood tall, mocking me ever louder, its keening now an ear worm rudely, roughly invading the vacuous space within my head and I knew, knew without a doubt, I was in trouble. So insidious this worm, this harbinger of whine, it often goes undetected… by those unaware.

T stands for Tonal and I realized this assault was a particularly bad one. 

Where, where did I leave my broom?!

Happy Friday people! Remember, it’s your choice.

 

Postscript “735”. This Be a 6 Sentence Story.

Hello. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. It’s been sometime since I’ve written and posted… forgive me father, for that is my sin….But! Ivy tells me I have until this coming Tuesday to post and participate in the 6 Sentence Story Thursday blog hop and by golly I will. Last week, last Wednesday and Thursday evening specifically, I sat with numb brain and could think of nothing. Nada, nunca, non, non, and non.

I woke again this morning (always a good start to the day), to the first sunshine in 2 weeks. I had set my alarm for a stupidly early hour in order to take my car in for the usual mileage maintenance stuff. Except I kept hitting “snooze” until the “snooze” no longer “snoozed”. What was I thinking?! I’m coming off a week of no sleep, incredible stress (work related) and here I am self-imposing a schedule that has “let’s continue the exhaustion until you fall over” written all of it. LOL

Perspective” is one of my favorite words as is “Personal reality“. Some of you know of what I speak. And so it was I found myself writing morning words and discovering I had my 6 Sentence. There’s no time like the present, eh? I mean, that’s what they say, right? So I reminded myself that it’s important to remember it’s all in how you look at things. Today is Saturday. For a lot of writers out there it’s the 2nd day of Lizzie’s Ten Things of Thankful bloghop. Yet, it’s also the in-between time for 6 Sentence Story Thursday.

All of what we might do is always possible if we but stop, jumble up the picture a bit and relax.

“Life should have well taught us by now that fear is more dangerous than anything else anywhere.

It not only prevents the immediate thing from coming to be, it also prevents the potential good that may have resulted from overcoming the fear, from moving forward in spite of it.

All of the good this does me now. And yet, it does. It serves as an awful reminder of how a life can become a waste bucket of broken dreams, hopes denied, challenges unmet, indulgence in mortality.

The fool that I am can still say with utmost resolve, I shall not fail.”

 

What?! It’s Not #Tuesday?! WTF!

Hey! Special thanks to Clark over at the Wakefield Doctrine…Thanks, Buddy! (Yeah, I know. It does seem as if sometimes we put a stop to comments at each other’s blog lol.And that’s OK. It’s OK because it’s the official beginning of you know what! (I know you’ll write about it over there Clark, so….I won’t)

Speaking of “stopped dead in my tracks”, this morning, as is my daily ritual, I went to my documents directory to pull up the file where morning words go. Hadn’t gotten too far down the list before I stopped at “Poetry from the past, taken from posts, etc.” Hm. What is this? That was how long ago?!

Oh, there’s been “poetic words” since then all scattered tattered about. But this got me to thinking, since poetry’s been all the rage, I should try and retrieve some of the less ancient stuff. Alas, the bulk of my poetic words were written prior to the popularity of computers and social media. This one in particular I liked. Re-reading it today made me think of Kerry and one of her posts a couple or 4 back in which she wrote about sitting in on a poetry group at her town’s library.

Once upon a time, in the before time and in a further attempt to groom my rogerian aspect, I attended a meeting of the “Poet’s Corner” at my local library. I brought 2 poems to read. The one in the link above and another. The other was about my 2 cats. Dyanne! I should find and post it just for you! You’d like it :D

I was more than a little nervous. I had never read my poetry aloud to a group of strangers, let alone sit there and wait for a “critique”. Eegads! What did I think I was doing? lol. I read the poem that appears in the link in the 2nd paragraph…(yo, up there), first. Then I read a piece I’d written about my 2 cats, Madeline and Jamaal. Can you guess which the majority preferred?

So… we’re approaching the end of the year with all it’s implications (spoken like such a clark!). If you know me well, you know that my New Year begins the day after Christmas. I cannot recall when this began. No doubt in the earliest days of my burgeoning young adulthood. A time of deep re-flection. A time of re-assessment… re-newal? re-commitment? It is filled with the most well intentioned “re’s” (Je vais apprendre à parler français!).

As we approach the end of the calendar year, I wish for everyone the hope for finding peace and the will to find strength. Be well my friends. Be present. Today is our only day.