Highways, By-ways, Breakers and The Edge

As is the case more than not, I woke this morning with a song in my head. Scar Tissue. And so I went about my business. You know, morning “ritual” stuff. I apparently had the house to myself all night and so it was quiet. Still in solitude, I walked downstairs to put on the coffee, then back upstairs to activate the way back machine. As I basked in the morning’s solitude, many words lay before me like the highway in this song’s vid. Yet, as I sit now, they might as well be out there…in the open desert, blowing here, there… scattered. Intact but separated.

So is the nature of writing for me lately. It exists in my head. Only. Translation to the hard copy? Seem to be having ongoing issues. What else is new? Hm…hey! Here’s one thing – I’m on the mend, with voice back (more or less). 2 weeks ago today, I set out on a vacation journey to my homeland. Unbeknownest to me, I would get the tip off 10 hours later that maybe, just maybe, my body was trying to get sick. Dammit! Talk about Bad Timing.

….later this same morning….distraction….words?…. lost in music. How did I get so distracted by the YouTube?! Where are the desert words that were burning earlier? They were devoured by this and how I loved playing this song on bass. On the Thunderbird… succumbing now to the past…. feeling….the past….feeling myself consumed in the playing of this song, my version….

And this is how a clark gets to emotional content….unintentionally, without meaning to evoking those “things” that trigger tears of joy or pangs of sadness. Simple memory of a moment in time can be the flip of the switch that releases emotion and is suddenly available for a clark to use…

I’m thankful for a safe, albeit extra long return trip from R.I. last week.

I’m thankful for the ability to work from home. The “illness” got the best of me this week and so it happened I stayed home. Didn’t rest! I worked. While not contributing to my recovery, it was a big help. Deadlines never get sick lol.

I’m thankful for the sun and blue sky today. Yippee! I don’t really feel like venturing too far from bed, but you know what? I probably will. Just not yet 🙂

I’m thankful to be a help on Clark’s new serial story, Blogdominion.

I’m thankful to know so many excellent writers out in the blogosphere.

I’m thankful the Friday night vid chats have started up again. Just sorry I didn’t make it at at the beginning of last night’s chat!

I’m thankful Dyanne (sister separated at birth!) showed up at last night’s chat although I didn’t have much of a chance to talk to her. Voice will be better next time 🙂

I’m thankful my sister-in-law met my brother.

I’m thankful for Rule # 782.56 in the SBOR/BOSR. You’re going to have to ask Ivy. She’s the Keeper of the Book.

I am thankful for this day. Another day. My only day.

Be well my friends. Be present. Relax. Enjoy. Today is yours.
Girlie

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20 comments

  1. amycake76 · December 5, 2015

    I know what it’s like to hit by a memory like that when you least expect it. Glad you’re feeling better and that we can chat more regularly.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 5, 2015

      Thanks Sarah. I don’t get sick too often so this sucked big time.
      Yeah! It was great seeing you on the vid chat!!

      Like

  2. herheadache · December 5, 2015

    I hate that when the words are so clear in my head, but can’t be translated.
    😦
    Glad to meet everyone at the vidchats, as new to them as I am. Sorry you’ve been sick. Feel better.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 5, 2015

      Isn’t it the worst thing! As much as I try to memorize it, if I lose just a sentence the whole thing seems to dry up and disappear.
      I’m glad you’ve been at the vid chats 🙂
      Thank you Kerry. I’m finally starting to feel like my old self 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. lrconsiderer · December 5, 2015

    Music used to BE my way of ‘doing’ emotional content, because I was so closed down from it, and so scared. I had to use music even to express feelings to myself. It’s still one of the ways I know when I’m going under, because there’s a particular deterioration of songs I follow, to silence, and when no music comes…then I know things are bad.

    But I also used music to tell people I cared, when I didn’t have any words or sentiments which were sufficient.

    Thankful for you. For this day. The only day.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 5, 2015

      I know EXACTLY what that means “when no music comes…then I know things are bad.” It’s the dark place. And I hate it.
      Music is the perfect vehicle for a clark to express her/him self.
      xo

      Like

  4. May · December 5, 2015

    “thankful my sister-in-law met my brother”….that one just touched my heart.

    Like

  5. ivywalker · December 5, 2015

    I’m thankful my sister-in-law met my brother… Im with May on this one… I also feel so lucky to have met all of you… quite the unique and wonderful little clan ya got going there!

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 6, 2015

      🙂 I feel the same L, meeting you (irl even!) and the others. It’s opened my world.
      Yeah, they are wonderful aren’t they? 😀

      Like

  6. valj2750 · December 6, 2015

    A wonderful description of the tumbleweeds in our minds. They’re hard to catch. I’m glad you feel better. I wish I had met Dyanne at the Vid Chat. It was fun seeing you. Scar Tissue is a fantastic listen. Grand Funk, I know what you mean about particular songs transporting you to people and places from which emotional memories are made. Have a good week. Yay for sunshine.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 6, 2015

      Thanks Val. They are!!
      I’m getting there. Slowly but surely.
      I know! It was great to see her again. It took awhile though. Her audio was messed up and then she was in and out. Will be better next time I’m sure.
      It was good seeing you again Val. I regret having missed your telling about your writing class. I think that’s why I won’t ever take another writing class. You run the risk of running into….(you fill in the blank lol)
      I love the Chilis 🙂
      You too Val and yes….Yay and Yippe for the sun. Another beautiful day here. Hope it is where you are too!!

      Like

  7. christine · December 6, 2015

    I’m sure your coworkers appreciate your ability to work from home, too. 🙂 Hope you’re all back to healthy and ship shape soon.
    I’ll be doing my best to get in on that vidchat one of these days! So many lovely people to talk to. Next best thing to sitting down for dinner together.
    That is so sweet that you are grateful for your sister-in-law meeting your brother.

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 6, 2015

      They were considering a key player was out all week unexpectedly! Thanks Christine. Almost good as new 🙂
      I hope so. Yes, a great group of people for sure.
      She reminded of how long ago that was. Hard to believe 🙂
      Have a great week Christine!

      P.S. If you come back, I’m having a bit of technical difficulty applying a new theme LOL

      Like

  8. Vanessa D. · December 6, 2015

    I got the invite to the vid-chat while I was out shopping – bummer. Hopefully next week…

    Like

  9. pictimilitude · December 7, 2015

    First, I love the new look. 🙂 Second, I love your love of music. Third, you make me smile. Fourth, you inspire me. 🙂

    Hope you’ve had a good (restful) weekend. I know that as an introvert, after spending the week managing many adults and children, my weekends are very coveted time in solitude. 🙂

    Hugs!

    Like

    • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 7, 2015

      Oh, Cyndi, thank you, thank you 🙂 That means a lot to me 🙂

      It was fairly restful, thank you. And you? I hope you were able to languish in your coveted solitude, busy woman that you are!

      Always, return hugs!!

      Like

      • pictimilitude · December 12, 2015

        More hugs all around. 🙂 Just wanted to letcha know I had planned on calling in tonight. Man…after this crazy week (it was the last week with the kids, but I’m in my office doing inventory and looking for funding next week), I’m all tired and not feeling 100%. But I hope to catch up next week. Hope you’ve been well and can’t wait to catch up. 🙂

        Like

        • GirlieOnTheEdge · December 12, 2015

          And so they go around until they come back to you 🙂
          Thanks for letting me know. No doubt it is crazy during the holidays what with break coming up soon.
          Hope you don’t get what I had!! Rest and rest and….rest.
          I look forward to hearing the latest 😀 And good luck next week. Hope you get more than you ask for!
          Talk to you soon 😀

          Like

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