Closure. On Sale Today. (and every day)

“Closure”. Mechanism? Tool? Affectation? What is it? A concept created to perpetuate the myth of self determination? Can closure exist without being borne of emotional content? Does it even exist at all? I’m on the fence. Of course if you Google any of this – “closure”, “self determination” and more specifically, “self determination theory”, you’ll find a plethora of scientific theories explaining it all in oh so dry language. But back to my question! Does closure really exist?

Angel Girlie says it does. She says you know it when you feel it. When the body feels it because the body knows first. Then, slowly, the mind figures it out and makes the intellectuall assessment, the determination of what went down. Closure. Then there’s Devil Girlie. Fuck no, closure doesn’t exist. It’s a construct created to support escapism. People can search for closure their whole lives and never find it. And that’s because you can’t find it. You feel it.

Can we choose closure, like when we choose not to be in a bad mood, or choose not to let a co-worker annoy us, or when we choose to ignore anything or anyone that affects us such that we indulge in that “bad mood”? These are questions I ask myself today. Along with, “do I need closure”? Is there an event or relationship that requires closure? Am I using the concept as an excuse? Holy damn smokes, I’d better not! But who’s to say unless we open up the vaults (‘cuz there’s not just one).

Don’t worry guys, I won’t be spillin’ the contents of my vaults today. Today is for posting a Ten Things of Thankful post. Josie Two Shoes provides the magic link that allows us to share in each other’s lives, in each other’s world, the ups, the downs, the opportunity to get it all out there. Providing the opportunity to benefit ourselves through sharing.

The great thing about the TToT is that, while it’s designed to share in the good things, the beautiful things, the wondrous things, it’s also a place to share the not so glamorous, sad or damn, that made me angry and upset this week things. Those are called “hypo-grats”. Oddly enough, even the hypo-grats have a way of circling round and exposing the thankful(s) beneath the surface. Come on. Let’s go scratch the surface…

TToT  the Wakefield Doctrine. Like Kristi’s #10 on her TToT posts, this is a constant. While the placement may be varied in the numbering of my post, it will always be a thankful. Without this life tool, let’s just say life would be a lot more complicated 🙂

TToT  Ya know, I’m glad to be see some heretofore mia familiar faces around the SSS and the TToT as of late 😀

TToT  Music. Music. Music. Music. Balm for whatever ails me. Motivation when it is lacking (big time of late) putting a smile across my face or giving me an excuse to cry.

TToT  Seeing the success, trials and yes, tribulations of my people (clarks).

TToT  Knowing, even without yet feeling, that everything I need “out there” to accomplish my goals is available and accessible.

TToT  Precision basses 🙂 Guess I never got closure from not buying a P bass that came through the music shop I was managing back in my younger years. It came in on consignment. I hadn’t yet bought a bass. This one, circa early 70’s, all peeled up Sunburst, looking lived in, was calling my name. I didn’t really know how to play bass then, little ditties and such, but when I picked her up, held her, worked my fingers over the neck, it was magic. This bass just played itself, the action was amazing. It felt right in my hands. But I did not act. And so a 15 year old girl, just starting her first band, bought it. (she came in with her dad) At least I was happy with the buyer, although it was tough letting her go…the bass that is!

TToT  Speaking of Precision basses – Chuck Berghofer took his ’59 Precision and improvised on the spot one day and gave us this – check it out.

TToT  That it hasn’t begun raining yet (again). The forecast was for rain all weekend. I was disappointed first seeing that forecast but now that the weekend is here, I’m not minding. In fact, let it rain, rain down on me.

TToT  I’m thankful a friend turned me on to the “new” Foreigner. For old men, they sound pretty darned good. Not all relics can pull off the rock thing decades later 😀

 TToT  Thankful to write this today. Thankful to go out into the rain today. Thankful for this, my only day.

 

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Information. The Gateway to knowing. But not really.

Good darn morning people! Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Please, allow me to introduce myself. I am Girlie. Why yes, that very one! and I am your concierge for this day’s Ten Things of Thankful post. This post is my participation in a world outside of myself. It is as much for me as it is for anyone reading who may find value in, be entertained by or discover new creative ideas from, this post. Thank you for stopping by today…..

This morning, I awakened at a later hour than ususal. It being Sunday and all, before I am able to partake of the life giving go-go juice, popularly known as “coffee”, I must first take my weekly Fosomax. Yo! Dyanne! she who has recently returned to the fold of bloghop participation and my long lost sister at birth!, you know what I’m talking about. Before I can drink the black gold, I have to remain in an upright position (tray tables included) for 30 minutes. Why? Who the heck knows.

What shall I do while I wait? Decided weekly prep would be productive so…. prepared tuna fish for a week’s worth of sandwiches (which also serves as breakfast when I get to work, only half the sandwich of course), and nuked a bag of vegetables to have for dinner tonight. Quick stuff as I while away the 30 minutes to sanity. Now here’s the thing that precipated my listing, for the 2nd week in a row, my thanks for the internet and access to it. I emptied the bag of Fiesta Ranchero vegetables into the black plastic like Pampered Chef bowl, put the lid on best I could and stuck it in the microwave. It began to spin but! it began making a funny noise. As I watched it go round and round, it appeared one of the handles was bumping against the door. Well, we’ll have to fix that!

I pulled the bowl out and adjusted the lid a little better. The handles are imprinted with, “slide this way” (with arrows to remove lid). I put the bowl back in the microwave, hit the button and watched it spin once again. Only….now it’s rotating in the opposite direction! Holy smokes! What just happened? Am I really seeing it spin in a counterclockwise direction? It was spinning in a clockwise direction just a minute ago! What does that mean? Is that possible? lol Of course it is! Thanks to the internet, I googled “what direction does a microwave tray rotate?” and had my slightly anxious, playful inquiry answered (no supernatural, magical kitchen happenings today, y’all). So yay! for the internet and getting answers immediately 😀

So. As I wait to be able to ingest brain smoothing coffee, as I attempt to be productively efficient with the use of my time, I wander off into….creative self entertainment. However briefly, I imagined that “oh my gosh, did I really see the microwave arbitrarily change its’ rotational direction? Was I imagining it? Whatev. The pleasant residual was it got me to thinking, “hm…what if there was a microwave. A very special microwave that if you put a wish, desire or intention into a bowl, depending on the direction it rotates you could 1.) go back in time and re-write personal history or 2.) move ahead to the future and set in place a personal history assured…

…oh boy, where has Girlie wandered off to now? Here! at TT #2 😀 If we allow ourselves to relax, wander the creative side of town where maybe it’s not so neat and tidy, we just may stumble over a can of creativity. If we don’t venture to places unknown, to places that might appear a little scary, then what can we gain? You know, the folks who run the joint, Finish the Sentence Friday, offered up a good one this past Friday. It was pretty much a discussion of fear vs worry. And a fare bit of self revelation ensued from many of the writers in the process as they shared of their fears and worries. And you know what? As I become a more evolved version of myself, I see the absolute benefit of sharing. The personal stuff. Ya know? As a clark, I tend not to go too deeply into the coffers of the “personal” (then everyone might see what an awful person I am – is what my internal clarklike self insists) and that’s ok. For me and most everyone else, there’s a limit to what is shared as is appropriate. Did I wander down the hole to TT #3?  Um, maybe.

(can we get back to a more structured and thereby more acceptable format pa-lease!)

TT # 4 Shopping is not anything I enjoy doing for myself. It’s frustrating, time consuming. But, it is a necessity at times. I’ve mentioned the Second Chance Thrift shop behind where I work. Proceeds go to the Humane Society. A very worthy cause. I haven’t been into the shop in months. My last purchase were some cds. Can’t beat the bargain price of .25 now can you 😀 Anyway, I’m not opposed to buying certain articles of clothing that are “gently used”. As I started up the steps to the second floor I saw hanging on the wall what I thought at first was a jacket. Wow! How very cool looking. I snagged it on my way up the second flight of stairs. Upon closer inspection I saw there was also a skirt. It was a suit. Tried the jacket on, perfect fit. Looked at the skirt and decided, yeah, that’ll fit too. It looked as if it had never been worn.The material is a jacquard damask, floral type, kinda sorta like this,. The pattern’s a little different of course, but you get the idea. It’s a lovely wine (not burgundy) color on a black background. How could I not buy a perfectly fitting suit for $5? Score.

TT #5 I went to the gym yesterday. (this is huge as it’s been 2 weeks since I last set foot inside my Gold’s)

TT #6 Reuniting with friends. I recently met up with 2 friends I used to work with before I took my present positions. One of them had a baby in the interim. In get-together #1, I got to meet the little guy. What an angel he was as his mom and I got caught up over brunch. The second meetup? That’s my next TT:

TT #7 This particular friend and I work only miles apart (she also left the firm and took another position) and we try to meet for dinner at least once a month. Last Wednesday was the first time since Thanksgiving that we’ve gotten together so there was much to catch up on. The bonus was we met at a little restaurant I had never been before. To my absolute delight, I discovered some of the best pizza ever! When I first moved from Rhode Island to Virginia once a very long time ago, I thought I would never eat pizza, real pizza, ever again (unless I went home but that’s a long way to go for a pizza). I believe I have now found pizza, dare I say it, worthy of rivaling the pies back home 🙂

TT #8 I’m appreciative and thankful my brother reminds me to take “pitchas” when I’m out and about, even though it can be challenging while driving lol. So the famous #9 #9 #9 are a couple of pictures taken on my return trip from doing Saturday errands. I’m not professional with the placement of photes like Pat with her causual ability at providing simple yet amazingly accurate descriptions. I can aspire though 🙂

TT #9  

[picture far right was actually taken about a month ago but it’s vertical so…there ya go. symmetry :D]

TT #10 This day, of course. It is incumbant upon me to celebrate it in a manner worthy of having received it. So …..

 

Ten Things of Thankful

“Add New”. Isn’t that what it’s about?

“Morning. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Got to say, the most beneficial place for me is on the edge. Define edge? Hm…it is that split second of opportunity when time ceases, when consciousness is “expanded” such to allow for the impossible, improbable, “no way!” moments. Clark likes to call it the “cubic centimeter of chance”. It’s when a window opens up. Not really accessible by design, most often comes as a surprise and surely not an everyday experience.

Ahem! Yes, where was I? Clearly, in a contemplative mood. Very. For clarks, “contemplative” comes with the risk of indulgence. We can get lost inside of our heads thinking about the past about the future about the wtf present. New readers, “clark” refers to my personal reality, that of the “outsider”. It is my dominant reality and it is one of 3 personal realities/perspectives we all live in. Check out the Wakefield Doctrine here. You may or may not “get it” but if nothing else, the folks who hang out there are, well, representative of clarks, scotts and rogers! And…it’s kinda fun over there. Learning new things with a twist. And! You just may find it’s the most usefull life tool you have yet to discover.

What brings me out here today, Sunday, is the Ten Things of Thankful bloghop. You’ve heard of it no doubt as it has been circulating the net for years. Lizzi Lewis. Yes, that Lizzi Lewis gave of herself and offered the bloghop as a vehicle for herself and others to remind ourselves of the goodness and opportunity and friendship in our lives. She offered a vehicle by which to communicate, reach out, identify and otherwise relate to others near and far. Thank you Lizzi!

As Lizzi is a woman on the go, a person in motion, an individual on a quest, she realized the moment when stewardship of her hop, affectionately dubbed the TToT, should be passed to someone else. Enter side stage center, Josie Two Shoes, Wendy. She accepted the privlege and enables anyone willing, to join in and share of themselves joys, sorrows, delights, achievements, failures, wonders, success, hope fors and all manner of thankfulness. Thank you Wendy. So if you’ve a mind to, join in.

1.  Rainy day? Yeah, I’m thankful. It’s another day.

2.  Coffee. Sure, listed this before but you know what? I have a new appreciation for it. Friday night after work, I went to the store to buy coffee. Believe it or not, I was basically out of coffee (I know! how could I let that happen!). I had enough for 1 cup of whybotherit’ssoweak for the next day. Well, I left the store with everything but coffee. O. M. G. Yesterday morning I was exhausted and had nothing to jolt me to consciousness. None of the black gold, no go-go juice for me. It was an awful, haze day for sure! But I got through it. None of the things that might have irritated me had I been caffeinated bothered me. Score.

3.  Music! As shared by others. Thanks, Clark for posting the Jimi vid, Rainy Day Dream Away. Perfect.

4.  I must echo the thankful for the internet. Well, acutally, thankful for access to the internet. Hell-oo Heaven at a clark’s fingertips. Bliss achieved in every byte uploaded, information 24/7 😀

5.  Encouragement by participation. It’s funny how when you’re not even looking, when you are genuinely engaged with the world, you find all sorts of encouragement, sometimes when you didn’t even realize you needed it.

6.  Carlos Castaneda’s first 4 (maybe the 5th book) of his Don Juan series.

7.  Dogs.

8.  Flowers from Columbia. They are rainbow bunches of smiles 🙂

9.  Curiosity. This one is both a thankful and a hypo-thankful!

10. See item #1. This day is my giftchallengeopportunity. This day is my responsibility.


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Ten Things of Thankful, Christmas New Year’s Day Edition

Hey. It’s late…holy shit! 10:30?! Where in the world did this day go? Who am I trying to kid. It’s been here all along. No. No tricky metaphysical mumbo jumbo. No sir. Not from me. Not tonight 😀 Although, if ever there was a night for such things…

See what I tried to do? lol I had every good intention last night but clearly I was on the road to hell. (no, nothing fun, Kathleen’s favorite, the “road to hell is paved with good intentions”). It’s been the “holiday season, whoop-de-do (and dickery dock)” and as such…busy. But holiday or not, Josie Two Shoes has not failed us. As every week for longer than I want to recognize, she hosts this bloghop of bloghops, the Ten Things of Thankful.

OK. Let’s stop talking and open some presents!

1  The wind howling, screaming, challenging me to get up. It is, afterall, a beautiful day.

2  the Wakefield Doctrine. Check out this Doctrine Christmas post from 2013. Excellent.

3  Last Saturday night’s call in call with Clark and Cynthia. What?! We were still talking over an hour after the official end time? lol

4  Speaking of Clark and Cynthia. Thanks Clark for sharing this and thank you Cynthia for the obvious. Excellent 🙂

5  For co-workers who are generous and fun and a pleasure to be around.

6  Music. Especially this time of year.

7  Everyone in the virtual world who writes, creates, shares. Don’t stop.

8  A week ago today, my morning commute. Stopped at a red light I heard the sound of geese. The very large V formation approaches from my right. I lean in to my windshield to look out so as to follow their path as they cross over and above. (ironic they had the green light!). Cool. But wait!  They weren’t finished.  2 other V formations, 2 more skeins of geese flew overhead. It was going to be a good day 😀

9  I am so very thankful for good health, a roof over my head, a secure job, a wonderful vehicle to get me there or anywhere I need or want to go.

10  This day. The only day.

 

 

A few thankfuls and gratefuls at the Edge. It’s a TToT

Hey there. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge’s Sunday edition for the Josie Two Shoes hosted, Ten Things of Thankful bloghop. A beautius day, all sunshiny and such. Not quite as nice as yesterday but I’ll take it! There is no snow on the ground and that in and of itself is worth all 10 thankfuls 😀

Every time I attempt to write a TToT, I remember how, earlier in the week, I’ve told myself “remember that! it would be great for the TToT post“. Because I fully intend each week to post one. More often than not however, I don’t. What is it that gets in the way? What or who is eating my time??

Which brings me to my latest “trick” in my attempt to utilize my time…better. It is the “meditation” on time as an ocean. Fluid. Nonlinear. Each morning I lie flat on the floor to do my version of meditation and to stretch. It is a time to set my intentions for the day. And at the beginning, I simulate slowly, fluidly, the motion of doing the back stroke upon a vast and buoyant ocean. (Only with my arms, elsewhile there might be some knocking on my door wondering what all the noise is about!)

But back to the task at hand. Thankful, grateful and otherwise glad of? Lessee….

1  The lovely Grace Potter. She is mistress of the art of dancing to her own rhythm. Within a rhythm.

the Wakefield Doctrine. Of course.

3  The snow that fell last weekend disappeared last weekend. The snow that fell this past Friday, it disappeared too!

4  For morning rituals and greetings and keeping in touch with people regardless of how much geography lies between us.

5 & 6  It’s blatantly apparent I have not practiced inserting photos into posts or anything else with regards to mastering the art of the edit. The photo on the left is from earlier in the week. I had just parked my car at work. I was looking straight ahead, clear blue sky, left leaning and overarching winter stick branches hanging like a half moon in the foreground. But look, there, in the distance, a little to the right of 12 o’clock in the bare stick trees, there on an upper branch. Look closely. You will see 2 large (they were very large in real life!) birds perched, side by side enjoying the early morning together. In the few minutes I sat in my car watching them, they never moved. In fact, I managed to take several photos of them, got out of my car and still they sat, bird’s eye viewing it all.

To the right of that picture (for no other reason than it’s late! and I can’t figure out how to insert pictures!) is a picture I snapped while driving to the gym last Saturday morning, in the early part of our snow event. Overcast graywhite clouds suspended, tiny snowflakes insistently falling. It felt good to go out “in the weather” 🙂 As much as it begged for me to crawl back under the covers, I embraced the weather and the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

7  The SBOR/SBOR! because it allows me to publish as is, without 10 thankfuls, and come back! That’s right. Come back later in the day with more thankfuls. Surely, as I venture out into crazylastminutechristmasshoppingpeoplearedrivinglikemaniacs I will have #’s 8, 9 and 10 😀  So. Anyone going to bet on me finishing my Christmas shopping today? 😀

8

9

10

Thankfuls found in Faraway and not so Faraway Places.

Good morning and welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. Grey sneaks sleepily through the slats in the miniblinds, circumventing the cinnamon sheers and taunts me with the doubt of any sun appearing today. Perhaps the proper setting for this, the first morning in 2 weeks, that has me waking in a different bed. Has me drinking the go-go juice from a different mug, has me sitting in a bed, laptop upon stretched out legs, not in the room of re-direction. Yesterday, I drove 406 miles (in most excellent time!) from R.I. to Northern VA. No. I cannot say I drove home.

Words this morning in the other place lay testament to the fact that, while I ascribe “home is where the heart is” as a truism, I found myself teetering on the precipace of the question: where is home?

Josie continues to provide us with a link to sharing our thankfuls, our lives, our selves with all who would participate, reading or writing or both, a Ten Things of Thankful post. Lizzi Lewis of international fame was the original founderess and to her there will always be thanks. I’m glad I met you Lizzi Lewis, virtually and irl.

The concept is pretty self explanatory. Write a post of thanks. Format those thanks such that there are 10. Why 10? You may have to ask Lizzi 😀 As hops would have it, it has taken on rather unique (such an all purpose word lol) anti-rules. Creative alternatives, if you will. Perhaps you have noticed the use of the SBOR/BOSR otherwise known as the Secret Book of Rules. Specifically Rule 1.3. What is this rule? Why, ask Clark. Like Mikey, he likes knows everything. Or Zoe. She is the keeper of the Rules and can also clue you in on the virgins.

Without further ado….

TF 1. I am most thankful for travel in both directions that went smoothly, quickly, without incident or a speeding ticket! (yesterday’s return trip. record time. record)

TF 2. A lovely Thanksgiving that involved a new food! (well, prepared in a new way to me) I love acorn squash but never did more than cut it in half (clean out the guts), slap a hunk of butter and wad of honey in each half and bake it. Classic, simple taste. But! My sister-in-law prepares it wa-ay better! She stands each squash upright, cuts off their top (wait a minute, I appear to be using somewhat violent descriptive terms lol) and fills them with all sorts of goodness involving apples, pecans and something gooey.

TF 3. The effort of blue sky to sweep the post dawn greyness aside. The battle has yet to reveal a winner. (there it is again! maybe I need to talk to the subconscious)
Post script: full on sun at this very moment 8:21 am. Good start to day!

TF 4. Helping to decorate the treehouse for Christmas. Phyllis’s treehouse 🙂

TF 5. Dogs.

TF 6. I am thankful for the ability to take a step back (slowly sometimes) and suss out/work through emotional reaction to see the biger picture – to turn the volume down, utilize the tracking option, to gain a clearer view of the screen.

TF 7. Sharing this holiday favorite with someone I love.

TF 8. Friendships that transcend time and distance.

TF 9. Sharing in the discovery of new (to me) places (pic below? Ender’s Island).

TF 10. Always, another opportunity to live, share, discover, engage and otherwise participate in the conversation that is life.

No. No Cannibalism at the TToT Today.

Good morning. Welcome to GirlieOnTheEdge. I almost, almost used words from a dustified partial draft, languishing backstage for another Ten Things of Thankful that never went live. Like walking a salvage yard, I couldn’t find the right year, right model for the parts I needed. No never mind. The yard is huge. Huge. I’ll keep walking…

I sit in the room of re-direction. (how much for a #1? cool. throw it in the wagon). Only I’m not alone. Scratching the inside of my cranium for a shred of creativity, I am distracted by another person. Sitting at his table, monitor front and center, his creative energies fully engaged, I hear his words tapped into life with each successive keystroke, his musical selection overdubbing any tracks I might think to lay down. But it’s Oh-kay.

This is at once a thankful, the room of re-direction, but the distractions of another person fully engaged in creative expression at the cost of mine? Should be an anti-thanks, non? But it’s not. It is appears as #2 on the thanks’ometer. I am thankful I call this person friend, mentor, family.

Thank you Josie for hosting this bloghop. It is one of 2 bloghops that have served as life support for my creative self  lo these fleeting years. TT #3? Why the hostess of the other life support system, Zoe who links us weekly to Six Sentence Story Thursday. I ain’t ready to pull the plug ladies. Not yet.

Hey, lookee here! It’s 7:13 pm the same day and guess what? No time to finish. (not again!) I have to leave shortly to ride shot gun with Clark while he drives through Wakefield hosting the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Drive Call In. A perfect #4 while #5 is the Wakefield Doctrine.

Guess what? It’s Sunday morning so I can now say I am thankful that Cynthia called in last night and filled us in on her recent adventures. She is a busy woman with many creative projects in various forms of development. I am thankful to know her. And so, #6.

I do not write the thanks in any particular order and so must not overlook thanks for an uneventful (as in safe!) and rather quick drive to RI a week ago yesterday. My expectations were to be driving for much longer because of holiday travel. It was not so. A pleasant 7 hour trip. Thankful #7 🙂 Does a wish for the same on my return trip count as a thankful, lol?

#8. The weather has been great. A tad cold but it is winter in the northeast afterall.

#9. Time spent with my sister-in-law carrying on our tradition of decorating the tree house for Christmas 😀

#10. Always for the day, this day. My only day.