Where do I begin? What is the starting point? Where is the starting point. Which one? My head holds a myriad of flash intros each screaming, vying to be headliner. How do/can/will I know which one is the right one for this…this version of reality? Even as I write these words, I doubt the font type currently appearing was the same font as when I opened this post. To borrow from Calderon, is everything but a dream….
Thanks to constant interrupted sleep last night, I awakened this morning at the sound of an incoming text. I’m thankful for that as I dare not think how long I may have slept. Already, the day had been re-arranged, re-ordered for me by my body. By the intermittent leg/foot pretzels that plagued me throughout the overnight. “I am an old woman, named after my mother, my old man is another child that’s grown old”. Even now, I wander the highway of multidimensional reality. Why the hell not 🙂
I will, being sleep deprived (there can be very enjoyable special effects garnered from interrupted sleep), on the verge of getting sick? attempt to put some cohesive tape on this botch job of a post…it all began….last night, as I turned out the light thinking it was going to be a typical, lay in bed, go to sleep, sleep until morning kind of night, I lay, lights out listening to youtube. The last 2 songs I listened to were Don’t Speak and Someone Like You. Neither are new songs. Neither are played on the radio here (Don’t Speak I’ve heard once or twice but not in ages). At least the stations I listen to. Driving to work, I heard both these songs. Back to back. Now you might say, what’s so weird about that? Here’s what’s weird. The brief conversation I’d had with Clark pulling away from the house 20 minutes earlier. It culminated in his statement/observation that my previous (work) timeline was reclaiming it’s self proclaimed, rightful place here on this, my new timeline. What? Whatch you talkin’ bout Willis?? And so, the briefiest discussion of the re-emergence of pattern, habit, routine. Engrained like the groove in one’s favorite record. Impervious to the switch to digital media, habits and routine cannot be erased, cannot be altered sufficiently for them not to resurface to reclaim their rightful position, steering you to those places it would have you be because, after all, we’re all where we would have ourselves be. We are living in our perfect world. (go ahead Clark. I know I could never explain it. The words are not in my brain any longer lol)
This is a jumbletron of words. Like “sitting at my desk at work at 11:45 this morning, I was overcome with an incredibly strong feeling of deja vu.” The kind where you believe you know right at that moment the next thing you had done/will do. And so I thought, is this simply a facet of timeline replication? Is it the “feeling of having done this before” or was it simple resonation of familiarity of habit?
I think perhaps the lines were bleeding one into the other today. Blending, melding, criss crossing. In a way, I hope so. Otherwise, how is it I can ever discover anything “new”? How will I keep routine, habit at bay. How will I keep my body from playing in the worn rut left by the needle that has traversed the same song for 57 years.
TTOTimelines (yes! I’m stealing that from Clark! That clever Doctrine guy who plagues me, lectures me, yet manages to keep me sane). I am participating today. Somewhere. LOL
For the Wakefield Doctrine
For last weekend. Achieving goals, spending time with my favorite small humans. We had a wonderful “nature walk” on Sunday to round out the weekend.
For increasing knowledge, little by little in my new profession.
For only getting ,my face “burned” 3 times by my dermatologist.
For the sense that I will write, will complete Annaliese’s Dream, though it’s barely begun.
For the YouTube.
For my physical stamina. It’s pretty damn good.
For not totally, completely giving up participating in the virtual world. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have read Kristi Campbell’s very fine Finish the Sentence Friday post. Check it out. Her writing. It’s good. Like damn good.
For the BOSR/SBOR. No. Not quoting a rule. Just a general thanks for it’s existence 🙂
For this, another opportunity. For this, both my first and my last day.
Do you know where you are? You sure?