Yeah? What Of It Buddy. WTF Of It?!

clarks. We’re such fucked up people. To top it all off, like the proverbial cherry on top, we spend most of our (young) adulthood trying to “figure” ways to deal with all the shit that fucks us up. clarks know what  I’m talkin’ about. We’re looking for the answers, for the way to cope, sometimes on a daily basis…in our heads. “Cuz that’s where it all happens. That is the place of origin, ground zero. The “haid” (thanks be to the Lady for correct pronounciation lol)

The insistence that I can think my way out of a bad mood, a sad mood, out of hopelessness and defeat, darkness and despair. That is a clark thing. It is just this internal dialogue that so fucks us up. The thinking! We all know this to be true. clarks think, scotts act and rogers feel.  The saying isn’t “she/he jumped in head first”. The saying is “she/he jumped in feet first”. Ostensibly to avoid injury. So what the hell does that mean?  For/to us? What does it represent?

You know those things floating around the internet: “who did you get?”, what color/character/author are you?” list your favorite (fill in the blank), list your most influential/favorite books?” I’ve never participated. This last one? About books? I’m going to use that as my first thankful. “Cuz up there in paragraph 2, 7th line, I mentioned internal dialogue. Which never doesn’t bring to mind Carlos Castaneda and his book series that begins with The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge.

TF No. 2 A Separate Reality (book 2 in the series). We clarks know all about that, don’t we:) Our reality, that of the Outsider, is a real reality. We relate ourselves to the world as outsiders. We are here, the world is…out there. My “job”, my self challenge, has been to better my self, my quality of life, by learning to relate myself to the world as a scott, as a roger. At will.  A huge undertaking. Since I have a secondary scottian aspect, the “at will” business is a little easier. Relating to the world as a roger has always been more difficult. The currency of rogers is emotion. A non rational thing. This is in direct opposition to what we clarks trade in – the intellect. We be rational – “gotta be a reason for everything and I’ll figure it out if it kills me by golly“. I’m happy to report that in the last 2 years I’ve made some inroads into understanding and relating to them rogers. Which…has helped to alleviate a lot of questions that used to perplex me. And that one my friends, insists on being TF No.3. (damn, I’m all over the place, tense wise. Note to self: learn how to write!!!)

TF No. 4 Journey to Ixtlan (book 3 in the series). It’s been way too long but memory tells me this book is really getting into the “good stuff”. Which is why maybe I’ve been so s-l-o-w to start re-reading all the books?! Seems I’ve been putting it off, why??

TF No. 5 Tales of Power, 4th book in the series. I need a refresher for sure.

TF No. 6 The Second Ring of Power, the 5th and final in the series as written by Carlos. Imo.  Yes, I own the next 4 books in the series but no one can convince me that Carlos wrote them.   

TF No. 7 For thinking I haven’t already lost that last sandwich(what is that ditty about being short a sandwich and picnics and isn’t there a basket involved?!). I mean, maybe I’ve already succombed to the pressure. Word to scotts and rogers: you have no idea the types/kinds of pressure we clarks put upon ourselves. It’s not just the pressure we perceive is there, it’s the pressure we simply put upon ourselves to be…better, to fit in better, to be a part of – better. The pressure to: not fail, to excel, to somehow prove that we are living up to our potential, that we “have what everyone else has”. To not be so on the “outside” of it all.

TF No.8 Now here’s a different one. For all the poetry proliferating on the net recently, here’s a couple of my favorite blog places to find it. Here – check these out. FYI guys, I haven’t been leaving comments ‘cuz sometimes I’m speechless when it comes to voicing my reaction to words grouped and labeled “poetry”:) Lets see, where’d I put those links….Zoe , Z’s poetry (and Lizzie’s too) can be found here . Laura. She has recently presented this site, The Reverie.

Where are we now? At the point that I go “amnesciac”.  On those items that I’ve been thankful for all during the week…Now this is a good one. TF No.9  That a co-worker, my office manager asked if she could join me on my lunchtime walks. Of course I said “yes!”. The first time she came along I was unprepared (didn’t know I’d have company). I hadn’t brought my sneakers that day and figured my walk would just have to be a little slower. Guess what? My walking partner turned out to be a “serious” walker. Man, we hit it right away at a pretty darn good clip. Needless to say backless shoes are not overly conducive to power walking. But I kept up. I’m very glad to have had the company.

How to round out the TF No. 10 spot? I know! Having a little time off from the story at The Secessionist Rag. It is after all Roger’s “turn”. Having said that, I now need him to HTFU and write Chapter 28.

It’s Sunday. Thank God for Ripple Effects.

Aack! A catchy post title eludes me this morning. I’m a moron today. Vocabulary playing hide and seek. Oh, welly, well well. I shall plunder, plonder, plug on through…..plod. I like that one – “plod”.  It’s Sunday. And here I sit in bed writing a post on a Sunday morning. I’ve almost consumed my second and last cup of m-dil-e-i-cious coffee and wishing I was starting with the first all over again.

My posts have been few and far between *reader(s) begins to yawn*. But it all makes perfect sense, writing this today, Sunday, in the morning. It all “fits”. See, in my younger years and when I was a single individual, I lived in small, cozy apartments with 2 cats. Madeline and Jamaal. In those days I was in the habit of writing a journal of sorts. Mostly when the mood came upon me but I never didn’t write on Sunday mornings.

As I’ve done for decades, I rise and zumba into – what?! no! – I zombie into – yeah, more like that – the kitchen to put grounds of sheer bliss into a basket so that H2O can flow over them and force from them the goodness and gold I call the “go-go” juice. Yup, don’t function all that well unless I consume at least 8 ounces of the “juice”. If  forced to, I can at least leave the house. Please note-16 ounces is the preferred amount for full functionality. But I digress.

Once upon a single Sunday, coffee in mug, I would sit in a round back swivel chair.  I’d have my paper and pen. The pad, yellow legal. The pen, blue. Always blue. Oft the color of my self when I took to the pen. At some point, usually when I had barely begun to write, Madeline would jump up into my lap. Damn! How am I going to write with a cat sitting on my legal pad. She was telepathic and got the message. Only now I had a cat draped over my right arm. I am right handed. Trust me – writing with a feline draped over the arm is…a challenge. But it can be done! She wouldn’t stay the entire time I wrote but sometimes she did. Perhaps to insure that I did? Stay and write? Was she trying to help me? Huh. Maybe so.

The swivel round back chairs are now in storage. Madeline and Jamaal (named for Jamaal Wilkes, back when he played for the Lakers. No! I am not a Lakers fan. I used to be a huge Celtics fan back in the day when those 2 teams were always in the playoffs. Ah, those were the days.) are long gone from the planet. But tradition is tradition it seems. Habit begets habit. Routines are tough to kill

This is not, I repeat NOT what I was going to write this morning but now that I’m here I will continue. For the gazillionth time, but not recently, I remembered how single, seemingly small events can trigger: emotion, action, reflection. It can be as simple as a conversation. That sets off a chain of discovery, re-discovery, reflection, self-reflection.

This is what happend for me. Why? Because Jean, jenah, genay, called into the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Drive Call In last night. Thanks to Jean I got to searching the web for images. They were New York related. I happened upon an image of an article that appeared in the New York Times on July 22, 1962 about Rachel Carson and her book “Silent Spring”. The woman pretty much single handedly took on the chemical industry by writing what was then an extremely controversial, well documented expose on the use and effects of DDT on our environment, our selves. Had Jean not called in last night I would not now know about Rachel Carson and her incredible work to educate about and preserve our planet.

I’m “going long” as they say in football parlance. But that’s OK. It felt important this morning to write an acknolwedgment to the small, seemingly insignificant things in life that, given the chance, have the potential to lead us places we never may have ever thought about otherwise.

Yes, this is a TToT post because I know up there in all those 750+ *gasp* words are more than 10 things I am thankful for. As always, thanks to Lizzi for this, her brainchild. And thanks always to all who contribute to the Ten Things of Thankful Blog Hop. Perpetual reading material. Can’t get any better than that!

One more thing! Jean contributed to my understanding about the worldview of scotts! Most chillin’.

 

 

Resources at the Edge. Renewable or Sustainable?

“Nothing is scarier than the truth”….  “Would it tear you apart…would you scream it from the rooftops down until it’s over and you’re older…” 

Alright.  Today was a bad day.  No, no.  This is not one of those.  I don’t have those “gee, I had a bad day today – my boss yelled at me, I had 3 people quit on me, my husband/wife wrecked the car, my ipad got stolen…,”.  At least in my mind I don’t.  I don’t have “a bad day”  like that because I don’t measure it against the backdrop of a typical ok, moving along at a pleasant pace, life.  Life for this Girlie has taken a detour -a rather wide gaping turn to the left at that.  Stopping  just this side of ,well, you know where.  So how do I qualify a “bad day”?

In case I don’t mention it elsewhere, include this post in the “bad day” as already I’m off to a not so good start.  The rogers who are reading have already pointed their cursors (in unison) to the back button or, at the very least, are now giving their computers a verbal cue to “abort present page and go to…” 

I know!!  The writing is stodgy, the flow not so flowy and the context…is there any?!  (“What the hell is she talking about” is what you’re really saying)  I mean, where’s the feeling, man?  Where’s the special k of an enjoyable GirlieOnTheEdge post?    Damn.  I know what you’re thinking and I agree. (the post stinks. get it outta here!)  What constitutes a bad day is extremely subjective.  For me, a bad day is one in which I do not feel as if I have been productive.  And I’m not talking silly shit like cleaning the house, walking the dog or anything like that.  I’m talking about the kind of bad day where I flounder about like the proverbial fish out of water.  How awful is that?  Have you seen a fish flail around on the hard, dry ground gasping for air, trying to find it’s way back to it’s watery habitat where only minutes ago it was happy and carefree?!

The one thing I realize at the end of this non-productive day is that I sort of redeemed myself and the day (if  just a teeny tiny bit. no? really?) by sitting down at the computer and coming here.  To the Edge.  One more time.   One more time to throw some words up on the giant (only in my mind) screen in hopes that one day I will get better at doing this thing and that one day I may know that others enjoy it as much as I do. 

Note to the clarks out there:  1) Yes, lists are good; 2)  Prioritized lists are better and realistic ones more so; 3) Ya better have a backup plan* to the original because without it, there’s a chance you may feel a fish out of water; 4) Never take your eye off of Distraction.
* The word “plan”, especially if capitalized, should be tossed from your vocabulary.  Hint: subsitute the word “option”.  Sounds more relevant and feels a tad less odious.  LOL

Also, to my friend Lunchbox Lenny  – “it’s OK Lenn, to be this way.  To write this way, ya know, as a clark to clarks, every once in a while.  Because I know they’ll get something, somehow out of this jumbltron ‘o words:)”      

I’m in love with Mickey Rourke. Signed, GirlieOnTheEdge

Today I’m in love with Mickey Rourke.  “Why?”  Well, I was doing a little research and found myself at the You Tube.  Got to looking at some MR vids… damn, he was a hunk in his younger days.  Gorgeous hair (sigh).  “No, no, I haven’t seen all of his movies.  Not even close.”  The list is quite extensive.  Older readers may remember him from movies like Diner, Body Heat and 9 1/2 weeks.   I never saw Rumblefish or Pope of Greenwich Village.  But Sin City was ground breaking no?  (don’t get me going on Robert Rodriguez!) 

Today Mickey Rourke is one of my favorite actors.  He fascinates and impresses me.  The intensity with which he imbues his characters…melts me.  Yes, good acting (for the most part) but it’s his ability to immerse himself so completely into a role that dents my soul.  How does he do it?  You totally believe he is that person.  He appears to  completely surrender himself to the character the writer has put before him.  Good acting?  Sure.  But what is it that allows an actor, to find the place where the present, literally, does not exist?  What do they do with their own life when it’s time to be someone else?  A made up character with a made up life complete with all the accoutrements?  Look at the character Harry Angel of the film Angel Heart.  A most excellent movie (in my opinion), with very fine performances from all.  Click on this link  “I know who I am”  and tell me this is not “good acting” (love DeNiro in this role. dee-lish.)  Btw Molly, this one’s for you.    

So how is it Mickey can do this thing?  Can so totally “be” the character?  Part of the answer is that Mickey is one of my people.  He’s a clark.  Perpetually tortured (self tortured), living inside his head, the internal world, while at the same time attempting to interact with the outer world.  You know – with all you other people out there!  The Wakefield Doctrine tells us that clarks view/consider themselves in some measure ( by others)  as outsiders, “blue monkeys” as they say over at the WD Blog.  What else do we know about clarks?  Well, seems we like people are sometimes considered/seen as all or some of the following:  aloof, distant, snobby, unfriendly, fearful, passive, quiet, weird, nerdy, brainiaclike.  At the same time, we are very often considered funny, creative, friendly, compassionate, unconventional, talented, freaks.  (“talented freaks”.  like it! of course, I do!)

I’ve ridden the Tube in London, the T in Boston, the Metro in DC and many a midnight train out of Kingston, R.I.  In all of those instances, I felt the lure of “drifting”, if only for the duration of the trip, to a place that wasn’t in the present.  I imagine that for an actor, approaching a role might be like that.  Like taking a trip where the scenery is different, people are different and there is an opportunity to stop the world that is everyday life.  Sounds pretty magical to me.

Today, I seem to have wandered off course!  Mickey Rourke to acting to clarks to the Wakefield Doctrine to rail travel.  Topics aplenty that could/should be expounded upon.  Such a tease.  “Is there any way to wrap this up in a more contiguous way?”   

Not today.  Today I’m just in love with Mickey Rourke.  Signed, GirlieOnTheEdge

Nowhere near the edge…of completion

No, I am not talking football. (Like I ever doubted that my team would lose.)  I’m talking about myself.  You know, the project that never seems to get finished.  Gets put to the side every now and then, coasts a little when it should be toiling steadily towards the fnish line.  But then, who can know where/when the finish line is? 

“So where does this leave a person such as myself?”  That is to say, a clark?  Thanks to the Wakefield Doctrine, I have been introduced to other clarks who are rather active on the internet in the form of blogs and such.  They have provided me a source of inspiration and encouragement that we like people really can exist “out there” even if “out there” is as expansive a place as is the space that surrounds us all.

The first clark I made contact with “out there”, via another clark, is one Seven Ravens.  Not unclarklike, she is also known as Molly M.  You can visit her by clicking on her site listed to the right on my blogroll or you can find her at the FaceBook.  Coincidentally, she is also a proponent of the Wakefield Doctrine.  She read, realized and understood.  But then she is a clark after all. 

At this juncture, perhaps I need to restate that I, GirlieOnTheEdge, am a clark.  I do this, I recapitulate that which I find obvious, so that there is no misunderstanding as to how I view the world – what reality it is I am experiencing.  Some of you know that of late I have been on a “journey” of my own.  A journey of self – development, (self) evolution and the like, involving all sorts of “analyzin’ and dramatizin” (it’s the Lady Molly. it’s the Lady).  It is a sort of selves-actualization if I may cannibalize  a term (only) from Maslow and co. 

And there is Clairepeek.  Here’s where it gets a little interesting for me.  LOL.  Claire has been referencing the Wakefield Doctrine in some of her recent posts.   Claire you see,  is a clark.  That’s the cool part.  Someone “out there” in cyberspace,  on an entirely different continent is writing/creating/contributing all the while acknowledging just as publicly that she is a clark.  I recently left a comment at Claire’s  January 13, 2012 Wordy World post commisserating with her in what she was going through…you know, clark to clark. You can imagine my surprise, when I read her response to my comment.*  Check it out:

“Thanks Downspring#1
First of all… I need to say this because you need – as a roger – to understand the   motivation behind what I (and I think as any clark-like person would)”

(In my comment to Claire) I could not have referenced myself as a clark too many more times without being totally redundant, so what exactly happened?  Claire read my response and “saw” a roger.  But did she?  Claire is known in some circles as an “FOTD” which = “Friend of the Doctrine” (The Wakefield Doctrine).  Why? Because she has demonstrated on more than one occaision through her comments her understanding of the premise underlying The Wakefield Doctrine.  Which is why I was confused.  How could she think me a roger when in fact I flat out made the statement that I was a clark?  I can only assume she was reading my comment/words and getting a sense of something “not clarklike“.  It was not my intention to don a rogerian suit when I headed over to Claire’s “house” however.  I am perplexed…..(“tell me Vivian (as in Westwood), what went wrong?”)

* Over at the Wakefield Doctrine I am known as Downspring#1

What is the root of all evil? Know-l-edge

I know!  That’s not how the saying goes.  But if you think about it just a nanosecond longer it makes sense.  Do I need to preface it by saying it makes “perfect” sense if you are a clark?  Good.  Glad everyone has visited the Wakefield Doctrine aka the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers, and acquainted themselves with the basics. (psst…on my Blogroll)

clarks think.  One of my favorite descriptions found in the Wakefield Doctrine (for it being so spot on) is how important knowledge (and it’s bastard son information) is to clarks.  And that my friend is the evil of which I speak.  The search for knowledge and information very often can lead a clark away from that which he/she seeks.  The need “to know” all the facts or “have all the information”  before acting for clarks is more often than not, a burden and at times detrimental.  The cerebral interferes with the physical.  What I mean by that is that the body “knows” first, before the brain (“knows”).  I’ll call it ” instinct”.   The brain interprets a situation with the handicap of time – time for various synapses to link up and “tell” a person what is going on, what he/she should do etc.  The body on the other hand can automatically lead a person if they know how to listen.  At times the challenge for a clark is how not to allow one’s brain to interfere with spontaneous action.  Speaking of….

In contrast, scotts act.  Of the moment, spontaneous, scotts have no need to sit and think about anything really.  Their behavior is predicated on the “hunt”.  The instinctive need to separate the dominant from the submissive and not in the fun way.  Oftentimes charismatic, they very often emerge as leaders – just because.  Damn don’t they sound like they know what they are talking about?  They are so certain.

Rounding out the 3 rd way by which to view the world are the rogers.  rogers feel.  Everything.  For they have the weight of the world on their shoulders.  They are the keepers of humanity, of history, the engineers that tweak the gears of society.  rogers are of the masses, they travel within the ulitmate herd.

Hey!  Here’s an idea.  The Progenitor clark and Downspring Glenn have for many years engaged in a Saturday Night Drive about the very real town of Wakefield discussing among other things, what has come to be known as the Wakefield Doctrine which describes how if one knows how someone views the world then it can be known how that person will act and react in the world.  Pretty damned helpful I’d say.  Anyway, thanks to emerging technology, the Progenitor clark and Downspring Glenn will be available live during their weekly driveabout to answer any questions a person might have regarding the Wakefield Doctrine – anything from “what is the basic premise of the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers?” to “what exactly is a clark or a scott or a roger?” or “how do I tell what I am and where can I go for more information?”  AND IT’S FREE!  Here’s all you need to know to call in tonight, Saturday night:

Now you can call the Doctrine and your Questions will be answered…from Wakefield!! Free! Fun!! Informative!!! (and free) Saturday Night 8:00 to 8:45 pm EST Dial: 1-218-339-0422 Enter Passcode: 512103#

 

Hear you then!

 

the Wakefield Doctrine Saturday Night Call In Show

How cool is it that anyone tonight, Saturday night, can call into a blog!  Seems Progenitor clark over at the Wakefield Doctrine and Downspring glenn will be on hand for a live call in show while they do their Saturday Night Driveabout. Rumor has it that a certain Ms. AKH, a Downspring herself, may even be a guest “rider”.  

[Drivetime: between 8:00pm and 8:45pm Eastern Standard Time.]

If you or any of your friends would like to call in, Call: 1-218-339-0422, Enter Passcode: 512103# and simply follow the instructions.  Within seconds you will be connected live and on the air, coming right out of a damn dashboard for goodness sake!  Remember, it takes place tonight, Saturday night.   “What’s this all about?  The call in show and such?”  I refer to the Wakefield Doctrine, aka the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers.  A  rather simple, yet valid/provable “theory”, a tool if you will, by which one can use to simplify life.  Know how  a person perceives the world and you can know how they will act/react in that world.  And what’s even better? If you know how someone else will act/react you will also know how you will act/react as well.  Don’t take my word for it.  Put your cursor over the Wakefield Doctrine there on the right side, on the Blogroll.  Go there.  Call in.  Step on over to the edge…..